One year on. 2012

Well I made it through one year since my divorce was final. Last year I went and got my hair cut. Today I looked at vintage clothes. The challenges of life are many and after years of staying home they seem overwhelming. No one called last year and no one called this year. I guess it is like after someone dies only you remember when you got that call, how you felt at that moment. I remember counting down the hours to when I could of been in court and hear those words that I was divorced. I chose not to go and I have no regrets. It has been a hard road. I never was very good at having much confidence as a child. I knew I wanted to be a fashion designer or work in the London Art galleries but then my Dad said, "You will be at school forever Lisa," and it seemed to change my heart. He never saw that I had a love for something. My brother was an amazing artist and I never remember Scott being praised for his great drawings of cartons. The last three years it appears many have given there two cents on how to survive especially in what I should be doing. I had someone ask me this week but what do you want to do. It is daunting to think after all these years what do I want to do? I would love to travel the world, buy clothes and shoes and even little handbags I never did when I was married, write a book, learn to make great meals. I would love to give back, help raise money for women fighting all sorts of cancer not just breast cancer and to help equip those families as much as possible for whatever the outcome. To help women feel that they can soar in whatever lives' circumstances. I don't want to just sit here and type dare too... you add the rest. One should never be dared rather one should ask God to send encouraging people to their lives that help to build confidence where there has been years of erosion and confidence gone and allow people to show them where they need to forgive and heal.There daring is just a word. And words come cheap. I have never just sat and cried at the rat race since 2007 nor how I truly feel about my brother's death and the fact I so want to go home.
My prayer a year on is I get to soar just a little more and that I am able to reach others and give more compassion if I do that in the year to come than I am thankful for the road I have been placed on because I have gone beyond looking at me.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.