A cup of tea alone.

As I walk through this separation/divorce call it what you may and perhaps I should rephrase that at times I run at times I stumble and at times I just sit in a heap. If one thing is clear it sure is a lonely road. Many friends do not know what to say it seams at times the only one's who seam to make sense are the one's who have been through it. Yet you look at them wondering how to get to the other side. I am amazed at how those who have not got Christ make it.
In fact I amazed at those who have Christ how they make it to.
Someone said make a five year goal how about make a day goal. How about some days just make an hour goal. Sounds silly but that is how we make it.Ther is no five year goal you simply are trying to live.
If you have children you can relate your heart is totally broken by all that is going on yet it is broken even more as you see them go through even more.
I think the hardest thing has to have been to see me kids leave their school. I still hold on for miracles about it. But it has brooken all our hearts.
I think in it all each person holds on for a miracle to wake up each day and just not to feel all this pain.
I think it is so true it is a testing of our faith and perhaps even for those around us how will they cope with our pain will they just stand and lecture or will they show a loving arm an ear to listen and miracle.
One friend came and helped cut my grass with me i was so surprised.They showed me how to ride this lawn mower and in it all I felt wow I have achieved something. Another cut the grass with not one complaint.
If one thing I have learnt being a friend is so much different than we think.
I could cry a million tears on the road I have travelled yet in it I hold onto God has not let go.
I may have my tea alone I may cry alone but alone I am differently not for God is carrying me along this road.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Bringing back your muchness.

Life is surely a journey. Recently I watched the new Alice in Wonderland the cover looked surely interesting. In it all it taught me a thing or two about me. The Hatter told Alice that she had lost her muchness this she by the end of the movie had gained and in my opinion had actually gained some more muchness. Muchness to me is something that drives us to be ourselves. When I was younger I wanted to be a fashion designer and I loved the countryside and being with my godmother. Then my parents divorced and throughout the years my muchness seamed to disappear. When I visited England in 2007 the last time I was there. I felt a little part of me come back as I stood in my godmothers house and looked at her garden the Lisa who walked around there with so much hope and dreams was still alive in me deep down. The past few years have surely been interesting and as I walk through this separation I ask myself the question where is my Muchness perhaps it is in painting or walking or simply remembering the Lisa in my own Wonderland. I look forward to having much Muchness in my life again.
So as you sit with your tea and cake or sandwich think where you Muchness is because we all need some and we all need to hold onto it. It is what made us US and what will make us who we will be.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.