Notes in my pocket. Love.

I was talking to my mum this weekend she will be eighty six this year. Her and I are both divorced. It so touched my heart what she said, "My dad loved me, my mum did not want another child and all I wanted all my life was to be loved, I still do." I thought how similar her and I were she has a huge heart honestly and last year I got to see her but I did not see her first and often she has not been first rather the second or third person in my life. I thought of how I send her food every now and again now, but when I lived in England I sent nothing. Life is really short do we as Christians really show love or do we so often think about ourselves. We hear of someone in need of food our freezer is full yet we cannot even bother to call them up and ask "what can I do to help." Many are not in a position to help others yet it is often those people that do the most. A woman at nearly eighty six still wanting a simple thing called Love yet how many people show that on a daily basis. I think so often we smile a smile yet show nothing. Words are cheap actions speak loud volumes when you have no food on the table. A friend paid for my car to get fixed last week not because they had to but because they cared. It is people that love you no matter what that show real love I have a family that love me good and ugly they love me the same. My mum I don't think has ever felt that love she is just one person in this world how many others do we ignore. I say don't be the status quo actually show love to others because you want to change a person to help them understand that they do matter that you do care and that they are loved. Isn't that what Jesus would have done!

Notes from my pocket: Release to God and gain your soul..

I have been divorced for six years now I believe wow how time flies. The picture of my family and I on a swingset the day it was finalized are just like yesterday in my mind. A lot has happened in those years and a lot has changed. I have felt at times as though I was continually fighting a battle to survive. Yesterday a friend emailed me saying how she felt God tell her for me to pray to release my ex husband. I replied Ok. Not giving it much thought. Until latter on that day when I thought what release meant. It meant the idea of been married for now had gone. It meant in my mind I was alone it made me think of how alone I had felt a lot of my life. Release meant all the hurt I had felt I had to be given to God, did He really have this under control. Would all the tears I had cried really mean anything if I said that I release this person. In writing back and forth that night to my friend and tears running down my face. I hit reality that it was time for me to move on in my life, time for me to live. She was right I had become what people wanted me to be losing who I was along the way. Who was I now? What did I want to be? Could I really retrace and make dreams come true 33 years on from a dream I had at 16 to be a fashion designer. I found myself believing that in releasing my ex that I could now move on and dream my new dream and that my life could actually be about defining me. I woke up at 3am just saying I release you and on the way to work. Feeling like a person hugging me and the day appeared lighter and that there would be hope once and for all in my life. Even when I got home and stress appeared to abound I felt a peace. Perhaps in truth I was not alone that for once and for all I was been given my own life back and allowed to feel love surround me. It is not that you release that person and they get away with things I think to be honest it is that you release people so that you can live. Freedom to find peace and say God I trust you and here where I am alone hold me, hug me and love me. It is in a small way like nailing all your pain to the cross and saying God here is all my sin and in that moment you are indeed set free. Most of my life has been patterned by not being good enough or how others wanted me to be. When reality I was alright I just decided along the way to believe in lies and hold onto all the hurt. I know one thing is for sure God has great things in store for Me and I walk not alone but into an amazing future. I will dream big, dance in the rain and love the beach houses in Wells next the sea in England. I will dream of one day flying a plane and of one day being a fashion designer and I will also know in my heart I Lisa am Loved. I really encourage you to release people and in doing so you will indeed gain your own heart, soul and mind back. Find your own you you deserve it...because you are amazing, I know I am and I will be amazing.

Notes in my pocket. The true meaning of Valentines day.

If I think of what the true meaning of Valentine's Day is I think of the old fashioned cards that people used to send each other, and then there is the handkerchief with initials on it. I think it was all so sweet. Today Valentine's is so commercialized with cards, chocolate and flowers. How much thought I wonder has gone into these items that are bought. This year we sent my mum some food, thinking of how we wished we were with her and how she could tell us how she had eaten too much cake and what she liked. It was lovely for us to give to someone else and think of how Valentine's is not all about us getting a gift but more in how we could bless someone else. Hearing my mum's happy voice down the phone made me feel blessed that in some small way we could provide her with some joy. Valentine's Day is more than the red flowers and chocolate: it is truly when you think of blessing someone else, seeing how someone who is perhaps alone can feel some love. There are so many people that need that bit of love: it could be a hug, a word of encouragement, food or a phone call. That to me is the true Valentine's. If I look at Christ, to me, He is the ultimate Valentine a man that we should continually look up to and say even when our hearts are broken that in Him we find true love, our true Valentine's and our true source of what love should be, totally unconditional and always willing to love the unlovable. May you find a person to bless this Valentine's and see that by blessing someone else, your heart is truly full of love like no other. Happy Valentine's.

Notes in my pocket...Valentine's Day.

Notes in my pocket...Valentine's Day is a few days away and for many it is a tough day. As a divorcee, I will have to say Valentine's Day is more than the flowers and romance. It is indeed finding a person who has true integrity not just a smile and a card for that day. Love can last a moment but when you find a person who is honest and has true integrity then you have found the true Valentine. A card can bring a smile and a card can bring a tear: it is finding that special person that loves you for you, and they want the very best for you. It is not just found in a man or a boyfriend: it can be found in your child's smile or found in a friend's laugh. Valentine's is a symbol of love and it is a time we need to reflect about the people we love. Valentine's does not have to be a day one dreads, but it can be a day we embrace and thank God who truly loves us. So this Valentine's Day, think of all the people that truly love you, that have integrity and honesty. Then you will see Valentine's Day can be special whatever the circumstances.