Brooken

As the world celebrates Kate and Will's second child. It is so easy for many divorced or separated couples to forget those wonderful moments when they too were once happy. I remember the birth of both of my children like it was yesterday. Moments captured in my heart like a time capsule. However I cannot tell you who filed to be separated but I can tell you the moment I received divorce papers the gutted feeling I felt the shattered dream moment that pierced my heart. I also remember clearly when my brother died I can tell you most of what happened that morning and who I spoke too. Moments pierced in my heart and never forgotten. Today yet another my ex left for California he could not find a job in NC that paid what he use to be on and so took a job 2,800 miles from his children. I am not suppose to be gutted but as a tried to keep my distance at the airport I found myself sobbing with tears and in the end this man that i am divorced from agreeing to a picture of us all and hugging me tight like there was no tomorrow we all stood there hopeless all hugging each other. For one moment in time we were not divorced we were all one family saddened by life grasping to hold it together. I am suppose to be the grown up stiff upper lip my mum would say your British don't cry but tears flooded. I felt alone, unable to steer a boat to shore wanting to have a wand and make it all so different. Yet this is what it is. Do people ever realize the brokenness of divorce maybe not, do they ever learn from it some I am sure do others just hold onto bitterness and others like me our helpless and maybe naive in always been a huge romantic believing for dreams and fairy tales. Perhaps though in our brokenness we find that there is that human factor that can care.

I do not have any answers I sure feel a huge part of me is no longer here. Life is not always what we make it but it is making every day count and seeing the good in each other that make us and the world a better place.

Keep My Dad in NC- HL7 Interface Implementation Engineer Job Needed

Keep My Dad in NC- HL7 Interface Implementation Engineer Job Needed https://www.facebook.com/pages/Keep-My-Dad-in-NC-HL7-Interface-Implementation-Engineer-Job-Needed/444240415752669?fref=ts It is amazing how much you realize how much you are loved when all of a sudden life changes. It is true the title above should bring us all to tears two daughters trying to help find their Dad a job to keep him in the State that they live. I find myself looking back at my life and thinking of how many times I have felt that sinking pain of having little control of my life. My parents divorce hurt my whole family and although I think for them it was the best thing for them the three children left had a very hard time. My brothers death and his wife dying was indeed one of the saddest things I have ever gone through. But seeing my children's heart aching to see their Dad go is beyond, it makes you realize once again life is so short and is all those arguments really truly worth it. You cannot make someone love you nor can you take back time and change it. But it is a sad fact when life turns on you and you cannot control it. I have never lived through a war nor the depression but even though I have not I have through the many things I have faced felt the hurt and separation of loved ones. If you are reading my blog and you have walked a mile or two like I have done then believe for miracles. Because it is through a child's eyes that I believe God see's our real hearts. Because so many of people are just holding out for a miracle Here is hoping for yours and mine to come soon.

TheWoodenCrosses and ImpactbyDapperchap Etsy

In life I have learnt that you have to try every avenues to get your name out there. TheWoodenCrosses on Etsy make lovely hand crafted signs that depict the whimsicality of life and embraces that a sign cannot only encourage you but transport you to a memory, place or time in your life giving us hope. ImpactbyDapperChap is also on Etsy showing the beauty around us in photographs that can be ordered on mugs and bags alike and in frames or not. Photographs allow us to be a part of a world we love or be transported to a world where memories were made. These two business allow us to see that people press through in life not only trying to change their world but allowing others to have a part of the wonderful world in their homes. As I have gone through life I am thankful for the quotes and photographs in my home that have encouraged me and allow me to Dream Big. https://www.etsy.com/shop/ImpactbyDapperChap?ref=l2-shopheader-name https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheWoodenCrosses?ref=search_shop_redirect They do two sided signs!

Horrible Reality.

In my life I have meet many trials just like many of us. From my parents divorce which affected all three of their children to my own divorce. To seeing wonderful friends and family members struggle. I have seen churches do little to help the people that often need the help. Some do help so don't get me wrong. But the horrible reality is that often many people are forgotten. My ex husband helps many people out in his church the ones that people have forgotten given them rides and even money even when he does not have it. I have seen friends who have little call others asking how they can help. Yet so often the very people who can help are paralyzed in fear that by reaching out to another that they might be swept into that persons problems. I believe this is a lie from hell. By reaching out we often see what Jesus Christ saw and felt compassion a willingness to love when you don't feel like it and see the world through his eyes. My heart is truly broken at this moment my ex husband could not find a job in North Carolina and is having to take one in California we have sent prayer requests out and even resumes getting no where. I myself have posted from cleaning homes to watching children and felt every time you fight it is a punch back. I feel myself it is a plight of the devil himself keeping families as far away as possible keeping them bound with little money. Yet where is the church of Christ should they not hold up those poor soldiers bleeding in the fields yet so often like a pompous Captain they ride by. I say shame on them, our purpose on life is indeed to preach the message and to be the message of Christ but not forgetting those around us. We should see that the devils attacks are a chance for Christians to stand behind another and help pick them up not leave them bleeding and dying. So many hurting people around us but how many hurting people around in are own lives. What are you going to choose to do. Just let them bleed or actually be a light or a hope.

Love or not love?

In life we all face listening to what others tell us about another person many times we end up believing it or at least pondering it over and over in our minds. In a divorce or family feud you will often find hurting people unwilling to let go off their hurt, some hold onto it to death. It is easy to fall into the trap of not loving a person once you have been hurt and hurt again. Some say that to live and love is better than living and never have loved, I believe this is true. Through the many trials of my family and my divorce I have found that I still care and indeed love the people that I feel have often hurt me. I find it annoying at times and wished I could be like others who just end up hating their spouse that they divorced or the parent that was horrible to them. Yet through it all and even when times have come and gone and I have complained how I was treated there is this sense of caring and wanting the very best for another person. Some may say it is insanity I say it is better to Love and still love than become bitter and old and lonely. It is my reality that deep down I still want the best for those around me. Life is not easy and I realize the older I get that truly divorce is actually the hardest road anyone will ever walk down. It destroys the very root of what God intended it kills families and the whispers of the devil creep in and destroy the very thing that God had created to be this unit we call family. It is a miracle when families stay together and stay fighting for the core of what Christ intended. As my ex travels to CA for a job I find myself my heart going there too, I never realized how much I cared how much I actually wanted the best for him. It is a true statement children young and old need both parents not one more than the other but both and it is often easy not to see that when you feel that you are the hurt one. When I sat hearing my Mum not wanting to see me on Mothers Day a part of me wanted to just sit on her lap four years old her holding me tight. Yet in it all I say it is better to have loved than not at all. So don't listen to the lies and don't stop loving and don't stop believing because no one wants to die alone and everyone truly needs to be loved

The Magic Wand of life.

I so often wished I had a magic wand. I hate seeing people hurt, people getting upset, people not been treated fairly and people lying. There are probably some more, but these are on the top of the list. As my girls dad sadly and I say sadly leaves to his job in C.A I wished I had a magic wand to make everything different. In England I wanted a magic wand to allow us to stay and for all of us some how someway to be a family. My mum is another I love her with all my heart but she does not always view it like that and I wished I could have a magic wand to allow her to see how much I care, for her to own her house. It is a sad fact that the people who often try the hardest rarely get noticed. I know many people who have struggled and done amazing things with little praise and struggled financially yet loved the unlovable reached out to the lonely and made amazing differences in the people around them. My magic wand may only live in my heart but I so believe that God see's that and He see's all the work of those people and one day He will indeed make the tables of life equal. I don't have the answers to life but I sure have hope and a heart that sure wants to see so many people's lives changed for good. So with your magic wand change your world even if it is just in your heart because if you change heart to love even the unlovable you have started to change the world.

It's not what you don' t have that made you... You...

I have wanted many things in my life, some legit like wanting to go home to England others as a child silly things like asking Father Christmas for a window. In truth though the window was probably a household joke as I broke one as a child. I still laugh about it today my long list to Father Christmas. In thinking of the many things I have wanted, it is not the things that I have wanted that have made me Me, rather it is often the things that I did not have that made me a better person. I don't think it is bad to want things I sure want a full time job,I want to move to England. I do think though that sometimes we forget what we have. A smile can brighten up a day for someone else. A hand to help someone cross the road. Helping someone in a store that cannot reach something. A Hug can cheer someone up. Saying I love you. Drying someone's tears. Brushing someone's hair. Making a meal for someone Calling and listening to someone These things we all have compassion, Love and friendship yet many of us choose to not use them. So in this time of my life when my world feels like it is falling apart.I am choosing to see what I have. Even in the bad there can be some good. When my brother died I learnt the greatest lesson that was to forgive and love. In my divorce I learnt that I had had some wonderful memories and times from my marriage. See even in what you think was bad there are some good. So go out and look deep and find someone to bless.