Brooken

As the world celebrates Kate and Will's second child. It is so easy for many divorced or separated couples to forget those wonderful moments when they too were once happy. I remember the birth of both of my children like it was yesterday. Moments captured in my heart like a time capsule. However I cannot tell you who filed to be separated but I can tell you the moment I received divorce papers the gutted feeling I felt the shattered dream moment that pierced my heart. I also remember clearly when my brother died I can tell you most of what happened that morning and who I spoke too. Moments pierced in my heart and never forgotten. Today yet another my ex left for California he could not find a job in NC that paid what he use to be on and so took a job 2,800 miles from his children. I am not suppose to be gutted but as a tried to keep my distance at the airport I found myself sobbing with tears and in the end this man that i am divorced from agreeing to a picture of us all and hugging me tight like there was no tomorrow we all stood there hopeless all hugging each other. For one moment in time we were not divorced we were all one family saddened by life grasping to hold it together. I am suppose to be the grown up stiff upper lip my mum would say your British don't cry but tears flooded. I felt alone, unable to steer a boat to shore wanting to have a wand and make it all so different. Yet this is what it is. Do people ever realize the brokenness of divorce maybe not, do they ever learn from it some I am sure do others just hold onto bitterness and others like me our helpless and maybe naive in always been a huge romantic believing for dreams and fairy tales. Perhaps though in our brokenness we find that there is that human factor that can care.

I do not have any answers I sure feel a huge part of me is no longer here. Life is not always what we make it but it is making every day count and seeing the good in each other that make us and the world a better place.