Who am I now ?

My mum died on July 1st 2021 and since then I have wondered who am I now? Not many people ask any more nor did they at the beginning on Facebook people said sorry for your loss. As up and down my mum was one thing was for sure I loved her with all my heart. As I look around this house I am lost how I am supposed to spend Christmas. I wonder have I in the past twenty some odd years lost who I was. I still love the countryside and still love the beach. I have stuff in my house and when I think of England I think of how much of a

smaller home I would have. But would I be content in that smallness. Would I find a part of the fifteen year old girl who loved simple things in life. Perhaps in all these years I have lost to stand up for the things I love and stand up for me. It's easy to come to America and get caught up in this rat race easy to come here seeking the American dream and it's not so easy to leave. In all this I realize I am not the same person I was all those years ago. But just maybe I am beginning to see that I am a person who should look more clearly at what I want out of life. Maybe going home is the answer maybe it's not but to do nothing is saying that my life is froozen. So Mum thanks for making me think of where I want to be in my life and just maybe along this road to finding me again you will be there helping and guiding me. Love you XXx