Patchwork of life

2016 What a year for many of us. This week I had a cyst removed from my head my daughters were amazing. One who hates blood has become my personal nurse and I feel a total sense of gratitude to her. My other daughter has been cooking up a storm. I say often I feel alone but in all of this I see even though my mum, dad and sister care little about me that I have a family. I sat talking to a couple this week, choking tears as I thought why I have hated going to work the loss of being a mum the loss of not being there more for them caught in my tears, I could not believe that they sat there not condemning. My friend Suzanne came to the doctors she pushed the door open as they were removing the cyst held my hand and I realized that this was what family was she cared so much about me that she did not care about others just me. I felt like I was the Queen of England. In her eyes maybe nothing in mine it meant the world. It has been a tough year losing child support and trying to make ends meet. We started up a business selling second hand clothes online the site is amazing thanks to my daughter.Inspiring You Outfits goal is to make others feel inspired to make a difference in others lives. At the end of this year our website will close until we can make it profitable. We decided that from now until January 1, 2017, that we would give $1 for every $10 spent on our website, to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital; and my daughter who makes fleece dog blankets is giving $1 for every $10 purchase, to a local SPCA. We tried our hands at selling British desserts and then crafts on Etsy (3 Brit Chics and Impact by Dapper Chap). My heart from the beginning of this road of single mumness has always been to not be bitter, to encourage others and make a difference. I wrote books on amazon KDP under Lisa K Butler books of encouragement, I posted on a group I called Empowering Exceptional Women on Facebook and made wonderful suggestions on English Delights on Facebook one could say all to little avail and no money coming in. We use to raise money for the homeless all with the view point of making a difference. As I sat talking to my dad, sister and mum throughout this year I see so clearly how bitterness so kills and as I sit hear missing my England it is not that family that I miss more the friends I have in England Sharon and her family, friends from school and the simplicity of home. In all what the passed six years have thrown out me from car troubles to nearly losing this house, to my brothers death to church rejection I can say it has been a weary road. If I look back at the times I walked in cathedrals in England the stain glass reflections hitting the floor I am reminded we are like that stain glass and the patchwork quilt in many homes each waiting a new peace to be added to our lives or the sun to be reflected in our lives to make us better people. I so don't know what tomorrow holds, I know I have traveled along road. I was struck by a picture yesterday of Sophie Simnett from the movie "Mum's List" it reminded me of me in the 1980's although the movie is about a woman dying of cancer. I found myself thinking I just wanted to be my mum's list for her to love me and not condemn me. I was invited recently to join a group on Facebook called Hygge I call the hug group it makes me think of things I love and feel hugged.A simple get well a simple I care all of a sudden chases the gloom away and I feel I am in a family that care. In closing what happens next I have no idea,I hope my long road leads me home, financial security of sorts of not living on the poverty line, and makes me whole I hope me long road leads to make a difference in others lives and see the stain glass glory shine in them. Like a patchwork I hope it gives others hope, some warmth from the cold.