Surreal.

Surreal,that time that I feel right now. I have done yard sale after yard sale to raise money to go home, skrimped and saved. My children and I getting up making no money and others some. I have not been back to England for eight years, in that time my sister in law died and my brother as well, I got divorced and I started college. I have lost me and found me in a matter of time. I have seen my children grow up and time fall like sand fall through my hands. I have heard how others have gone home and seen and heard their stories. I am not suppose to be sad or mad but at times I have been. I have not seen my mum for eight years and some friends for over twenty. Yet next week I get on a plane and time starts ticking. I want to stop time I want to let everything go into slow motion I want to bottle every moment in my mind. I don't want it to slip through my hands and for me to be once again over 3000 miles from all of them and feeling at times so alone. I don't want to look at time and not know when I am going home again. I want to hold on tight to have someone love me and care about me and for my surreal moment in time to be forever and never end. It is I am not thankful, it's I am scared of not having this time again and not been able to make it by myself. The worries of money of roofs and not feeling the hug that love from some of the most wonderful people in my life that live so far away. Some would not understand, I say walk a mile in my shoes. So God please hold me tight and allow these moments to last not just a moment in time.

The Hand we are dealt.

Ever heard the saying don't judge others? It is a saying many of us have heard but so easy not to do. Many people have lost their jobs and if you read articles on the internet and in newspapers there are many more to be be lost this year. Many people have had medical issues and with the rising cost of insurance it is understandable that some may have not been able to keep up with the amounting cost of medical bills. Some may have thought that they would be married a lifetime sadly to end up divorced. Some have lost their loved ones. With all these situations the cards that were dealt to us have now been changed. Yet to many of us we stand and cast our opinions and our judgement and our solutions. In the Bible it talks about casting the first stone if you are without sin. I myself have many flaws. My advice is simple find a few good friends that will stand beside you and you can be accountable to that will love you, guide and listen to you through life being honest and allowing you to never lose who you are. Because even through all of lives different trials and different cards that have been handed to you I tell you two simple truths God always loves you and God will never let you go.

Just A....

A job title allows us the chance to say I am....you fill in the blanks, however so many of us say we are just...as if our job does not have any worth. I know of a cashier and a person who bags and cleans a store that to the world's eyes are just...in jobs of not much worth and of two young people who are just babysitters but are they? Let's look at the cashier, she entered the position after years of being a stay at home mother, no one would hire her other than a grocery store. Frightened by the thought of facing a world she did not know she put one foot in front of the other knowing that as a single mother she needed the money to survive. No degree, no experience just a drive to make sure food was on the table. As time went on things changed relationships with customers were made, old people and children gathered at her line as she joked smiled, sang Birthday songs and even prayed with them. Others came to her line looking down and the weight of the world on their shoulders a hand reached out in a time of need a prayer said and a simple caring smile made their day a little lighter and her life a little sweeter. Although no one saw it on management level her words were simple I pray with those people because I am answerable to God and God alone. To many just a cashier but to God oh so much more. A man bagging groceries sweeping the floors, to some just a person in a grocery store, but I say no. This man sings with a heart for God, continues to smile when his world is falling apart, when he has not much money, in rain and shine he carries out people's groceries not complaining but just thankful for his job. Thankful to share Christ with others. Management never see how much this man gives and no raise is given. But I say in God's eyes he serves a great God who sees his tears and hears his voice none are in vain. Two young people just babysitters to many watching kids and picking up toys. To many just a babysitter, until you see the smiles on those children's faces and you hear how thankful they are that these two young people care about them. Just a babysitter...no not just a babysitter two young people making up school work in the week and making sure that God gets all the praise. These are just four people what is your Just A story....I can tell you many. When you go out just look around none of us are Just A, we all wonderfully made into God's image and we are all and everything in Him. Don't believe the lies and don't let anyone tell you that you are Just A...because this is what you are A child of the living God who loves and adores you and you are someone to Him.