Sunday, September 1, 2019

Single parenting the desert, the Isralites made it so why the hell not me !!

Before I was a single parent I never thought twice about really how hard that job was. My mum got divorced when I was fifteen I was over the moon and her road was a very tough one for sure. Looking back people have made their opinions and said what could have should have been done. Over thirty-seven years have passed and I have been a single mum for over ten years. Many women are single parents even if they are not divorced they carry so much alone fighting battles without any help. Never underestimate the power of a woman. It is so true. I was a quiet child my goal to sort out my parent's issues and arguments. As a single parent, I learned that with or without a voice it was a battle. Everyone has an opinion about you yet hardly any an answer no direction just their views. It is like someone said to me like the Israelites walking in the desert you keep walking your kids to the side, you tell yourself I know one day we will get out of there, I might as well die trying. The sands hit your face you feel drained beaten and alone but God damn it you hold your kid's hands tighter and you just keep on bloody walking. Surely there is relief in sight. The world around you trudges on your storm circles you like the sands in the desert no bracing yourself for another and another but you just keep trudging on your feet slip the sand pulls you down yet you look into others eyes I can make it can't I hope they have an answer hoping God will hear you and get you home. Your the one trying to escape the firing line hearing the fog horn trying to get you home. I mean if I had for once thought of how hard been a single mum was I would have given so much more compassion to those women. It's screwdriver in one hand, books in another, bills and stress and just thinking if God can lead Moses through the desert then why not the hell me. So think twice before you judge us single mums were a fighting machine, tired weary and maybe not always prepared for battle but God only knows that Promise Land that was promised to Moses is ours and were claiming it.I'll fight to the end, getting through my Israelite experience my lost in the forest my beaten by the storm. I may feel my feet sinking but just as a child I'll keep walking remembering that God did not forget Mose and He ain't going to forget me. So I'll hold on with negativity around me holding tighter to my girls and walking on because that Promise Land it's ours and God doesn't forget his people nor me.After all were British and God we know how to fight.

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