Puppet:Notes in my pockets

I recently started to finding healing from my passed. It is interesting to say that truly emotional abuse is very hard to move on from. It is like a puppet if you imagine with it's strings cut and it is falling plummeting to the ground with the very people that you allowed to puppeteer you watching from above, eagerly waiting for you to fall. You're scared, you are trying to catch your breath and you are not sure what life can look like without those ever ending words of failure ringing in your ears. It is as though those words have become your breath, those words have become the blood that flows in your veins and keeps you alive. The problem is that is all a lie, because with all those words,that tore you down, it is as though your very breath to breathe was been taken away from you. Your smile was not good enough, nothing you did was seen as any value. It is easy I think to say move on. I remember my brother before he died he was so stuck, but perhaps in truth he was so empty of love that his heart had lost the capacity to find hope to keep going. If you think of a car and that without petrol it does not run, a person without love finds it hard to function. I was asked recently what word does God think of you "I said Beautiful" but honestly I found it hard to say those words. I have really nice dresses and I encourage people as much as I can. But me I have found that moving on from years and years of words ringing in my ears of how good I wasn't have left me like a puppet flying through the air with my strings cut. I know I am not alone on this road and I am blessed that I have an amazing friend who has known me for years she tells me that all those words are lies. I know in my head that God loves me and I do believe in Him, it is just allowing my heart to feel His true love allowing me to be alright that I was not to blame for all those words and allowing myself to believe in a better future. We all at times in our lives come across people who have allowed others to puppeteer them, I use to not think of how those people felt I to be honest avoided them, they are not a bucket with a hole in them which need so much love indeed they are people that a hug can make them feel safe a hand held tight can feel that tomorrow is going to be alright or a simple smile can say "Girl you are going to be alright" I have been very honest in this post, it is true that God loves us all more than words can ever say and as I close my eyes I picture not the people that have puppeteer-ed my life but Jesus and I sitting in a place I like to call home. I encourage you words do hurt, but words can be conquered find a good friend, find a place in your mind where you can allow God to show his love and I do believe that slowly you will become whole that is my hope for me and for you reading this. Go stand tall without your puppet strings and live for once in your life.

InspiringYouOutfits: Notes in Your Pockets

Say if you can help people by doing something you love? Well, that is exactly what my family and I are doing! When I was in my teens I so wanted to be a fashion designer: I would draw all the time. But as they say, "Life happened." Going through a divorce made me see that there was a gap in the market for blessing and helping single mothers and students buy affordable outfits at great prices that could inspire them to feel good about themselves. Thus, Inspiring You Outfits was born, a way I could design outfits, and all of a sudden, my life became full circle. I would encourage you to check out the website and view amazing clothes that will Inspire you to do great things! Notes in Your Pocket is a small part of Inspiring You Outfits. At Notes In Your Pockets, we offer that we will do all your social media postings for you: we become your Social Media Manager, freeing up your valuable time. Notes In Your Pockets also offers that if you are having any memorable event, we will contact the guest list with your permission and put together a loving book that has memories and notes from your friends: this can include photos, recipes, childhood drawings, all captured in a memory book just for you! This is truly priceless, and the value of such a memory is priceless. contact us at InspiringYouOutfits@hotmail.com For more information check out: http://www.inspiringyououtfits.com/ https://www.facebook.com/inspiringyououtfits/app/251458316228/?ref=page_internal https://twitter.com/InspiringyouO https://www.pinterest.com/inspiringyouo/ https://www.instagram.com/inspiringyououtfits/

Note in my pocket: Finding my way home.

I have been divorced about six years now, in that time I lost my brother and I have struggled hard to find me. I have worked in a supermarket for six years now, I have been offered other jobs yet still I stay. This year has brought the biggest question what makes me,me? I sit often on this computer looking up photos that remind me of my England and the amazing countryside of Norfolk where I was a child. Those times were not all happy yet some how in my mind I have captured them as pure Heaven. I merrily look up pictures taken in France and long for those content moments of enjoying life. I love watching the Great British Bake off and seeing you tubes of Gordon Ramsay and his daughter Matilda and I am taken back to memories of wonderful pastries in English villages and the smell of my mum's cooking. A painting of colour of strokes going to no where land by Louise Cobbold and looking at material pictures from Liberty's. Seeing pastel colour's of fruits and pin cushions with pins poking up awaiting to make a dress or embroidery threads waiting to be used. A book about the Women's Institute in Norfolk or a book about North Carolina stories from the passed captured in my mind making me remember who I use to be. Seeing sketches of clothes and seeing patterns and thinking what they could be. A smile runs across my face a day of sunlight brakes through the heavy clouds and there I am cycling down village roads and eating blackberries and singing songs in the rain. There I am with hands out catching snow flakes in my hands and eating home made bread with golllops and gollops of butter on it. In those moments I see who I am. In those moments I am free from all that has held me captured and in those moments I catch a glimpse of how God wants me to be. Inside all of us is a person waiting to burst out waiting to fly high like a robin bird flying to it's branch, there we are simply the person who God wants you and me to be. I wish you all days of freedom, days where you find you, days where you can see glimpses of hope and days where that day is just the beginning. A new freedom...where you and I accept it is alright to be you, because you are more than enough for God.

Brexit Shame. Notes from my pocket

Brexit I will have to say strongly my family and I were happy to say we supported the exit of the United Kingdom from the EU. However since Friday mornings announcement I believe there has been nothing but shameful behavior on both sides. Donald Trump stood in Scotland and answered questions to do with the Brexit saying: Donald J. Trump ✔ @realDonaldTrump "Just arrived in Scotland. Place is going wild over the vote. They took their country back, just like we will take America back. No games!" It amazes me that people point and laugh at Mr.Trump however he was perhaps the only one person who stood and said something to be proud of on Brexit day. He did not diminish the right for people to make their own decision about their country. Mr. Obama however who had said that England would be at the back on the line when visiting prior to the actual vote and count then on Friday decided to change his view and say President Barack Obama said Friday that the U.K. vote to leave the European Union would not change the “special relationship” the country has with the United States. But Mr. Trumps view stayed the same that England was better to have it's country back and Mr. Obama changed his view. The leave party said hardly anything they did not address the fears of both sides of the nation in it's hour of need and Mr. Cameron decided to resign which meant that leaving would be postponed until a new Prime Minister came into power. There was nothing to assure to the world that the United Kingdom was United yes in votes we were divided but it was the place of these men who asked the country to vote to calm the nations fear. Scotland's Prime Minister has now continued to create in my opinion utter fear yes Scotland voted out but they are still part of the United Kingdom it is her place to calm the fears get behind the vote and move on. AS a parent one does not say to a child that has cut themselves hold on while I get my back up it, it will be four months a parent steps up to the plate and calms the fears of that child. Life does not always allow us the luxury to say something or have a four month to do nothing. A person dying does not have the chance to say hold on their life is counting down and like it or not their time is going to be gone. Christ did not turn His back on us He died on the cross for us. Churchill did not say to the Dunkirk evacuation stay there I will come back to you in four months. Nor did King George after his brothers abdication say no I don't want to do that. In life we often have to think on our feet and do what is best. Yes this is the United Kingdom but as a single mother who makes decisions daily of how I can survive I find it shameful the behavior of the country's political powers to not unit the nation and calm the fears of it's people. Fear is the root of destruction. The EU is right get on with it United Kingdom. I say to those people in power perhaps the common person has more clue than all of you, a single mother would not let her child be standing in fear for over three days but would have got up regardless of her own fears and calmed her child. SO Bloody get on with it and make our nation proud not living in Fear while you all grow up.

Brexit. Notes from my pocket

Brexit the name that has created fear across the United kingdom and the world. As a divorced woman I lived in fear for years and at times when things get tough I return back to that in my mind of being fearful of what is going to happen. The reality is freedom comes by telling fear where to go. I am not saying life is always that simple. But often what we fear the most can be a blessing. Think if we lived in fear all our lives countries would not have been found, the moon would never have been visited, I would never have got on a plane and people would still think the world was square. The move to Brexit was a decision by a nation,it was a decision called to by the Prime Minister of England and sometimes in life it does not always go your way. Instead of people complaining and pointing the finger and quitting they should view change is good. Change can mean new things can happen, better things can be achieved, new dreams made. For me I became a better person, for me life was not always on about wondering how one person was going to react to me. Brexit is like a divorce, many people have walked through divorce and lived and actually live a happier life. Fear is the devil of lies. So I say Wake up United Kingdom and make your country proud change has been decided now embrace the good what will happen. Rome was not built in one day neither were wars won in one day but life moves on. Churchill brought a nation together and so the United Kingdom will live again. Just as I have lived again. Thank you Brexit for showing me that I can move on. So move on United kingdom and make us proud.

Notes from my pocket: Single mothers on fathers day.

We all want to be loved, from the moment we are born we are forever searching for Love. We grow up in homes that might well give us that love we are seeking or perhaps like me you were brought up in a home where your parents argued 24/7. My parents divorced when I was 15. I was 26 when I got married I thought that by marrying someone who was I thought so more outgoing than me I would find love but the longer I stayed in the longer I found me losing my own identity and all of a sudden my dreams were just lost. Lies upon lies deception upon deception and feeling like everything I had value had to change. 18 years on divorced in another country and two kids. Loneliness hit like so many other single mum's. We question were we not good enough, why couldn't someone love me. Bills come and bills go and this pressure of hearing someone say your not good enough rings through your brain. It amazes me looking back how my own mother is still alive she divorced after 26 years and then her own son pulled her to pieces she has nothing in fact poverty and her walk hand in hand yet the days she is nice she is one of the most amazing women that I know. She has walked streets with only 10 pence in her pocket yet she still keeps going. Me I have tried to sell cupcakes, dog bow ties and written kids stories you name it I have tried. Yet the single mother and her journey is a very lonely journey the weight of bills of playing a double duty parent lays heavy. I am not alone our roads cross in the super market and our journey is of survival. The fathers we wanted for our kids to have may never exists yet we must press on knowing that there is a day that all our tears will not be in vain and that the times we felt so alone perhaps indeed God was carrying us. Fathers Day to me means what I wanted so much to be loved by my dad and my ex is found in someone who does care for me. It is true I wished to God that I could go back to England, buy new glasses and not worry about money, but above all that i wish I could give back to all us single mum's and just some how give them hope. Today 6 years on I place online my wedding dress a day of hope I thought, well perhaps it was i gained two amazing kids and to be honest if I had not gone through all this pain maybe I would not have seen who I was. Go find yourself, you maybe a single mum but you girl are amazing the strength that a single mother has is like a lion defending her cub it is like a wind calming the storm and it is truly like an Angel who may have been bruised in battle yet can still fly and above all a phoenix that flies out of the ashes. Go fly.

Please Dad....notes from my pocket

Many of us have watched the movie "Oliver" and heard those familiar words being said when Oliver asks for more food, "Please Sir". Perhaps many of us can relate to Oliver. As a child, I don't really remember doing too much with my Dad. I went on walks and I love those memories, but perhaps for me and my two siblings, we felt like Oliver asking, "Please Dad spend some time with us." As an adult, I feel like that most of the time with my Dad when I talk to him. A part of me has grown to just accept that he has time for himself and very little time for my life. Sad reality many children feel like this by their dad. Those from divorced homes feel like that: they are begging their dad to just really love them, without their Dad going on about himself. Truth is we all need a dad to love us and often our own dad cannot and does not live up to our expectations and needs. What to do? I have found myself thinking about this. Truth is when our Dads have nothing to give us, our hearts do not have to feel empty. God alone can fill the gap: it is not easy, as the gap is like a huge ocean and hearts are often so hurt. I do believe little by little if we trust in God that massive void can be filled with trust and so when we say, "Please Dad," we will not receive a bowl full of excuses or manipulation but a peace that we are going to be all right. I wished I had a magic wand to fill all the voids; however my wand would only bring a moment of healing. I know through all my tears that My Dad, my true Father (God), is the only One that truly will love and make me know that my void in my life is for Him to fill and for Him to guide me. Don't let one man leave your life with a void, instead allow one Father to carry you and fill your life.