Brexit Shame. Notes from my pocket

Brexit I will have to say strongly my family and I were happy to say we supported the exit of the United Kingdom from the EU. However since Friday mornings announcement I believe there has been nothing but shameful behavior on both sides. Donald Trump stood in Scotland and answered questions to do with the Brexit saying: Donald J. Trump ✔ @realDonaldTrump "Just arrived in Scotland. Place is going wild over the vote. They took their country back, just like we will take America back. No games!" It amazes me that people point and laugh at Mr.Trump however he was perhaps the only one person who stood and said something to be proud of on Brexit day. He did not diminish the right for people to make their own decision about their country. Mr. Obama however who had said that England would be at the back on the line when visiting prior to the actual vote and count then on Friday decided to change his view and say President Barack Obama said Friday that the U.K. vote to leave the European Union would not change the “special relationship” the country has with the United States. But Mr. Trumps view stayed the same that England was better to have it's country back and Mr. Obama changed his view. The leave party said hardly anything they did not address the fears of both sides of the nation in it's hour of need and Mr. Cameron decided to resign which meant that leaving would be postponed until a new Prime Minister came into power. There was nothing to assure to the world that the United Kingdom was United yes in votes we were divided but it was the place of these men who asked the country to vote to calm the nations fear. Scotland's Prime Minister has now continued to create in my opinion utter fear yes Scotland voted out but they are still part of the United Kingdom it is her place to calm the fears get behind the vote and move on. AS a parent one does not say to a child that has cut themselves hold on while I get my back up it, it will be four months a parent steps up to the plate and calms the fears of that child. Life does not always allow us the luxury to say something or have a four month to do nothing. A person dying does not have the chance to say hold on their life is counting down and like it or not their time is going to be gone. Christ did not turn His back on us He died on the cross for us. Churchill did not say to the Dunkirk evacuation stay there I will come back to you in four months. Nor did King George after his brothers abdication say no I don't want to do that. In life we often have to think on our feet and do what is best. Yes this is the United Kingdom but as a single mother who makes decisions daily of how I can survive I find it shameful the behavior of the country's political powers to not unit the nation and calm the fears of it's people. Fear is the root of destruction. The EU is right get on with it United Kingdom. I say to those people in power perhaps the common person has more clue than all of you, a single mother would not let her child be standing in fear for over three days but would have got up regardless of her own fears and calmed her child. SO Bloody get on with it and make our nation proud not living in Fear while you all grow up.

Brexit. Notes from my pocket

Brexit the name that has created fear across the United kingdom and the world. As a divorced woman I lived in fear for years and at times when things get tough I return back to that in my mind of being fearful of what is going to happen. The reality is freedom comes by telling fear where to go. I am not saying life is always that simple. But often what we fear the most can be a blessing. Think if we lived in fear all our lives countries would not have been found, the moon would never have been visited, I would never have got on a plane and people would still think the world was square. The move to Brexit was a decision by a nation,it was a decision called to by the Prime Minister of England and sometimes in life it does not always go your way. Instead of people complaining and pointing the finger and quitting they should view change is good. Change can mean new things can happen, better things can be achieved, new dreams made. For me I became a better person, for me life was not always on about wondering how one person was going to react to me. Brexit is like a divorce, many people have walked through divorce and lived and actually live a happier life. Fear is the devil of lies. So I say Wake up United Kingdom and make your country proud change has been decided now embrace the good what will happen. Rome was not built in one day neither were wars won in one day but life moves on. Churchill brought a nation together and so the United Kingdom will live again. Just as I have lived again. Thank you Brexit for showing me that I can move on. So move on United kingdom and make us proud.

Notes from my pocket: Single mothers on fathers day.

We all want to be loved, from the moment we are born we are forever searching for Love. We grow up in homes that might well give us that love we are seeking or perhaps like me you were brought up in a home where your parents argued 24/7. My parents divorced when I was 15. I was 26 when I got married I thought that by marrying someone who was I thought so more outgoing than me I would find love but the longer I stayed in the longer I found me losing my own identity and all of a sudden my dreams were just lost. Lies upon lies deception upon deception and feeling like everything I had value had to change. 18 years on divorced in another country and two kids. Loneliness hit like so many other single mum's. We question were we not good enough, why couldn't someone love me. Bills come and bills go and this pressure of hearing someone say your not good enough rings through your brain. It amazes me looking back how my own mother is still alive she divorced after 26 years and then her own son pulled her to pieces she has nothing in fact poverty and her walk hand in hand yet the days she is nice she is one of the most amazing women that I know. She has walked streets with only 10 pence in her pocket yet she still keeps going. Me I have tried to sell cupcakes, dog bow ties and written kids stories you name it I have tried. Yet the single mother and her journey is a very lonely journey the weight of bills of playing a double duty parent lays heavy. I am not alone our roads cross in the super market and our journey is of survival. The fathers we wanted for our kids to have may never exists yet we must press on knowing that there is a day that all our tears will not be in vain and that the times we felt so alone perhaps indeed God was carrying us. Fathers Day to me means what I wanted so much to be loved by my dad and my ex is found in someone who does care for me. It is true I wished to God that I could go back to England, buy new glasses and not worry about money, but above all that i wish I could give back to all us single mum's and just some how give them hope. Today 6 years on I place online my wedding dress a day of hope I thought, well perhaps it was i gained two amazing kids and to be honest if I had not gone through all this pain maybe I would not have seen who I was. Go find yourself, you maybe a single mum but you girl are amazing the strength that a single mother has is like a lion defending her cub it is like a wind calming the storm and it is truly like an Angel who may have been bruised in battle yet can still fly and above all a phoenix that flies out of the ashes. Go fly.

Please Dad....notes from my pocket

Many of us have watched the movie "Oliver" and heard those familiar words being said when Oliver asks for more food, "Please Sir". Perhaps many of us can relate to Oliver. As a child, I don't really remember doing too much with my Dad. I went on walks and I love those memories, but perhaps for me and my two siblings, we felt like Oliver asking, "Please Dad spend some time with us." As an adult, I feel like that most of the time with my Dad when I talk to him. A part of me has grown to just accept that he has time for himself and very little time for my life. Sad reality many children feel like this by their dad. Those from divorced homes feel like that: they are begging their dad to just really love them, without their Dad going on about himself. Truth is we all need a dad to love us and often our own dad cannot and does not live up to our expectations and needs. What to do? I have found myself thinking about this. Truth is when our Dads have nothing to give us, our hearts do not have to feel empty. God alone can fill the gap: it is not easy, as the gap is like a huge ocean and hearts are often so hurt. I do believe little by little if we trust in God that massive void can be filled with trust and so when we say, "Please Dad," we will not receive a bowl full of excuses or manipulation but a peace that we are going to be all right. I wished I had a magic wand to fill all the voids; however my wand would only bring a moment of healing. I know through all my tears that My Dad, my true Father (God), is the only One that truly will love and make me know that my void in my life is for Him to fill and for Him to guide me. Don't let one man leave your life with a void, instead allow one Father to carry you and fill your life.

Reservations: Notes in my pocket

As a single mum I often look back and think about things. When I got married in 1993 I had a few reservations of was I doing the right thing. I did not want to let anyone down. My mum, brother and sister would be in the same room together the first time in years. Did I want to blow that. So I went through with my marriage. I had reservations on my honeymoon finding out that no hotel was booked for our first night as a couple nor was there money saved for our adventures in Scotland my marriage started on not a solid ground but ones of walking the streets in Scotland arguing. One could say that indeed there was not much of a honey moon bliss. I was always so concentrated on paying down debt I became a blur to who I was. In the background I had a sense things were not right but the thought of being alone my life and been divorced like my parents kept me from thinking I could survive without being married. I was told along my marriage road how one had to suck it up I was the Christian and in my heart I thought being a Christian does not mean you are walked over. Maybe it did to some, but I kept quite. No reservations or regrets when I became a mum of two wonderful girls. The only reservation was how could I keep going when I knew things were wrong. I now lived 3000 miles from home, so the thought of not been able to get home kept me often from speaking up. I decided that he needed his parents more than my love for my country, church, family and friends and the places that I loved so with a heavy heart I boarded a plane twice actually. I had the chance to stay but his love for his family appeared so great and after all this was forever being married and so I could do this right. In 2011 I became the very thing I dreaded a single mum in America. Wow what a wake up call no one wanted to help me navigate the justice system in truth I am not sure if there is a justice system for single mothers. You are shoved into this pool trying to navigate it all alone and praying to God you get somewhere. I had told God over a year prior that I would not file divorce so Christmas 2010 I stood on my front porch with a police man saying sorry to do this and divorce papers were handed to me. I said it was not his fault indeed it was God's answer to move on. I wanted to go and contest it but had no grounds. Life was and did move on.Along this now five year road I have lost my brother, my sister got really ill, my mum nearly had a stroke I reconnected with my dad, gone to food banks, cried many a tears and to be honest got exhausted but through it all I have no regrets that I stood firm in loving my daughters. I stood there saying forgive even when at times I wanted to shout at God and say why this was all happening this was not the road I wanted. A wedding dress I brought all boxed up and preserved now just memories of what I should have done listened to an almighty God. Perhaps I should have not got married perhaps in all those times I should have said God have your will. But this single mum living 3000 miles from home says No, indeed I wished I had prayed more back then. But not for one moment do I have any regrets for being able to bring into the world to amazing girls who love God and who have changed my world for the better. I have no regrets in wanting to change the world and reach out to other women who are hurting just like i have and do. I have no reservations in my heart that God who has seen it all and see's it all has not given up on the little girl who use to sit on a chair saying she wanted everyone to be happy gayeous and joyeous at five years old as her parents argued and argued until they divorced ten years latter 26 years of marriage stopped and life moved on. See a reservation is saying you at that time are going to be somewhere as I now listen about reservations been made for dinners as my ex goes out with his new girlfriend I tell myself I have no reservations in my heart that even though I cry and feel alone God has brought me this far see it might hurt and I might cry but a new day is coming and no reservations have to be made God has it all planned out. From the moment I said to God that we were going to start up a business called Inspiring You Outfits I knew God had a plan. Now how that plan will work out I have no idea but I believe He holds my hand tight. https://www.facebook.com/inspiringyououtfits/app/251458316228/?ref=page_internal Every woman who is a single mum has regrets I often find myself walking the streets of England in my mind so wanting to be home. But ladies we are so much stronger than regrets we have a reservation with God to sit at His table to be comforted by Him and to walk with Him into an amazing future. As I sit here I tell myself this as I am telling you don't live in regrets of what could have been forgive and continue to forgive and sit at the reserved table that God has for you and your future because in my heart I believe God has good in store if only we stop and believe that by holding onto Him He will make our future better no regrets and only one thing a reservation to live a life with the King of Kings.

Notes in my pockets: Forgiveness is not just for others but otherselves.

Forgiveness is not always easy.Perhaps it is almost easier to forgive someone else rather

than to look in the mirror and say I forgive myself. I found myself this weekend reflecting on the many times I had not forgiven myself about things. I realized that to move on in life and not be bound by just sadness of what I wished things had been I had to stop and forgive myself. I realized that although I had asked forgiveness from others the person who I still had not forgiven was the very person I looked at every day. It is indeed alright to forgive yourself indeed it is healthy to let go and say God I forgive myself nothing selfish about it. In reflecting on forgiving myself I started to think how my life would look if I forgave myself perhaps I could move on from my job and actually start my own business perhaps all the tears I cried could encourage others. It isn't perhaps but it is yes you can and yest they will. Forgiveness is the key to healing your own heart but it is also the key to allow you to walk forward to a healthier and better future. The only person who yourself back is you. I can say each day when I hear lies I forgive myself. I know that God has great things in store for me. We all make mistakes but we can all ask God to forgive us and leave those mistakes at His feet even if we keep on having to put them down at His feet eventually I believe we will leave them there. So go live a Victorious life forgiven and Whole in Christ.

Notes in my pocket. Inspiring You Outfits. https://www.facebook.com/inspiringyououtfits/app/251458316228/?ref=page_internal

Years ago I wanted to be a fashion designer. I would draw all the time. Somehow who I wanted to be got lost in life until recently. Inspiring You Outfits is a page on Facebook and Twitter. On Facebook, you can buy each outfit, all under $25. My inspiration to set up a page where you could buy great second-hand clothes at great prices really came from being a single mum. I have found a love for fashion again but being on a budget does not mean that I can't buy some nice things. I am now able to buy clothes that represent me but still in my budget. The idea for Inspiring You Outfits is to inspire women to go out, dream dreams, and do great things as well as looking great at the same time. We can become women that inspire others to change the world. So take a look at this page and be inspired to make your dreams come true. I know I am. https://www.facebook.com/inspiringyououtfits/app/251458316228/?ref=page_internal