To be loved by Him alone is enough

When a person is dating there is this happy feeling that one might feel. You feel like you are walking on air, you have a smile that no one can really take away. Some how life appears not so heavy.It's amazing though how when a person goes through a separation or divorce all of a sudden just hurt floods in. I often look back over many years of life wishing life had been different and wishing that my front porch was filled with two people wanting the same dream. But what is love...the age old question.. some say it is just a feeling, others grasp onto a fleeting moment in time...but let's be honest love is honesty even when things are bad that trust that a person has your back and that you can trust that they are telling you the truth. That feeling that even when the bills are flooding in that something that says you are going to be alright.... that moment you feel that arm around you when you say nothing but they tell you I know you are hurting I just want you to know that I care... In my life for sure I have had many a friend who has done that for me...I hope that some people can say that i was there for them...some say that is just being a friend, but not in my eyes you see a friend cares enough to love you and care for you it's more than just a friend it is a person who has gone the extra mile. I will have to say I did not always love people very much, I always saw more faults than good and I often looked at others and how they had such an amazing love for their spouse and oh how I cried for that. I still get sad when my world feels like it is caving in and I wished that I had that persons arm around my shoulder saying I love you and that everything was going to be alright..but perhaps one of the hardest things I ever faced in my life my brothers death taught me to love often and forgive oh so much more.Perhaps in his death I was given an amazing gift of Love the chance to see how i could love others. Often Love is not in a person it is in believing in what God says that we are wonderful in His eyes uniquely made and His child.. not easy to believe when your heart is shattered and tears flood down your face and your marriage is no more....but won't you just close your eyes with me and for one moment feel God's arm around you and His honest and faithful voice saying that you are enough and that you are loved....I know if I closed my eyes more and held onto that then my heart would feel the love it often so lacks. So take one hand, one belief that you are Loved by one amazing God and that is enough.

Moments in life

I love Christmas, to be honest I hated it as a child, not that I did not like all the tree's and decorations I did but my parents would often argue and so Christmas meant more time at home and I loved school. To this day I love Carols being sung and going to church although far different in America than the traditional services of England. This past Christmas I wanted it to last forever, holding onto my children and the memories we had made. 2015 means re evaluating my life my daughters turn 19 and 13 with one off to college. How time has slipped through my fingers and I find myself screaming at the clock of life saying no it was just yesterday that I held her in my arms and thanked God that He blessed me with her. Where has time gone like a time capsule I wanted to freeze time. Yet that is not the case. Yesterday we looked back at photos of friends and in it all it seemed such a life time had gone by. Some say childhood is just a fleeting moment in time and yet like Mary in the Bible I hold every moment of my children's lives close to my heart. This house and the walls and the garden outside silly memories made of singing to high heaven Like a Firework or snow made out of flour, dancing in the rain and mud fights. I may have not had money to buy a car for her or pay for piano lessons for my other daughter but in it all I would not have traded all those amazing memories. Life is so short I often think so many people do not realize that holding onto grudges, being sarcastic and forgetting just to forgive and live life remembering that, that moment will never come again..it is fragile just like a fallen leaf beautiful in its very moment... So in closing make the most of the moments in life and hold them dear to your heart because those moments are precious and what you make of them is up to you....

They made it......!!

Many times we see in the news a fire or a plane crash something so catastrophic we cannot believe that anyone could of made it out alive. An image of a burning home, sirens ambulance and police sounds may rush through our heads and then all is captured by the media and the event captured by the press and through the media in an instant a moment the world or town is focused on that one event. Who truly looks back and thinks about a fire that took place a year ago or talk about the tsunami's that took place a few years ago we're not there and our lives moves on forgetting the rebuilding of so many lives still goes on today. Yet a divorce shatters lives for so many generations it is like a small crack in a foundation of a home if not dealt with the home will have major issues. Like walking outside and snow is falling yet in an hour you are trapped in a blizzard your wind shield whippers going oh so fast lights on you can barely see and yet you keep on driving hoping that you will make it home. So many go to empty homes sitting and focusing on what they felt what they should have had and forgetting to see the good. So many sit just heart broken a dream shattered to pieces tossed to the side and into the fire as sparks fly out like a glass bottle braking and bursting by the heat of the flames. At times you see light and a smile on a face you're going to be alright. But frozen in time you are hearing the voices of the past haunt you down and capture your mind. You tell yourself one step forward and indeed two steps back. Don't forget the children your like a pioneer finding your way through the prairie's walking through the cold trying to pick up your feet but your body is oh so cold but you have to go on, they are counting on you and God only knows you have no idea how you will make it but you tell yourself God some how I know I can do this.You cry at night and in the toilet stall you just stand crying at times. You try to tell yourself it's going to be alright and you take a step and the earth trembles but this time no tsunami just a small earth quake you better watch your back. You go to college and dream a dream or two. Yet frozen at times like your feet stuck to the ice you stand, like a child learning to skate yet one day perhaps just perhaps you will glide. So to me when i hear those words They made it.... i now think of those who have lost a loved one, survived a tragedy or illness and to those children and people young and old they made it... they did it you just never saw how hard they had to try to make it through each day and still smile.

Missing in action.

When you hear those words "Missing in Action," it conjures up people lost in war and to me the thought of people at home wondering if their loved ones are still alive. In today's world, I would like you to think a bit outside the box. I see so many people who do not bother to take the time of day to put down their phone and just talk or listen to acquaint themselves with another person. Where has that time gone where a pie was given to a sick neighbor or someone just talk to you in a store? I have sat at many doctor's surgeries and stood in line at grocery stores and it is my conclusion that there is a new Missing in Action in today's world. MIA is all around us politeness falls to the ground and NO NO parents don't just blame your children, you are their example, the one that stands at a grocery line talking out schedules on your phone with your teen, or telling them hush be quiet as you gossip down the phone. At least years ago many who gossiped were pegging out their washing on a washing line. MIA is all around us. Missing in action not caring about another person too involved in their own self centered life to be polite to smile to see another person's expression. Missing in action is all around us and is spreading how sad a life we live in that we can only see ourselves and not realize that we are the ones who are missing in action, missing out in life, missing seeing life, missing out what life might have given you. Missing in action is all around us so what are you going to do about it!! Don't be missing in action when God calls you home because he won't wait for you to text or facebook. The question is how important are others to you!

! Missing in action in our time can be an option it is up to YOU!!!

Is the phone your carrying serving just I?

As I sit here not feeling the best I am reminded how fragile and short life truly is. I used to love writing on this blog until a person told me that I could be spending my time more wisely, I felt my only world where I felt I could do something I enjoyed destroyed. But how many times do we destroy people's worlds without a second thought. When my brother died a week after he died I was asked if I had gotten over his death....in those words I want to hit them. But truly sometimes people are plain thoughtless and do not realize that their words destroy people. I see people at doctor's surgery, through check out lines all so busy checking their Iphones too busy to be polite too busy to take the time to see a smile or catch a conversation that may better their lives. They call this technology I call it a step back in time. People caring enough to take a few moments to ask are you alright or to help someone across the road or to just pray. Have we as human beings forgot what it is like to be that, simply human or are we all just so self centered that our lives have to be focused on us? I have prayed for people I have not known stood hugging a person that was just so overwhelmed with life,yet I sit here with no regrets for that. I don't have an Iphone and yes I think it would be nice but if that Iphone makes me focus on I then it is nothing but a trick from hell to focus my whole life on missing out on reaching others. The I you would think in Iphone would bring us closer to information a way to reach out but it doesn't. To many it makes them more inward more about them. So think next time you reach for your Iphone. Could you be missing out on an opportunity or are you just serving I?

2014

When I look back at 2013 I sit and see that it sure ended up not as I expected. I kind of dreaded the year to be honest the dreaded 13. God sure had plans for me and so to be honest as the year ended I felt rather sad. I am glad I am going to college now wished I had gone years ago. This year I hope to learn french. I did it at school but hated it. This time I really want to learn it and use it to reach others. I am also going to try and get my stories published again. I sure hope God leads me to the right people. I think life is much better if you just say God here I am. So I encourage you

this year to ask God where He wants you to go and let Him guide your steps the year may not be what you had planned but when you look back perhaps it will make you see His bigger picture. Wishing you all a wonderful New Year. Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Friendship and life

My sister and I are seven years apart, we shared a room as children. She probably hated it more than me. I would keep her awake at night, not wanting to be the last one asleep. We eventually had our own rooms her a smaller room which to me now looking back appears totally unfair as she was older. She never complained about her room or about me keeping her awake. She would decorate our room at Christmas and put up with me forever cleaning my cupboard out. At age five I had a horrible room, we had this room that was the lounge and our parents decided to divide into our room, but I had the side with not much light. So I would sleep on the floor on my sisters side. She was my protector and the one that put up with me. Years have gone by since those days of sharing a bedroom and as I sit and look back it was such a fragment of time. I live along way from her now and yet I will always love and care for her. It's interesting life can be when our brother died I think it made us realize what we had in each other and I am thankful for that. See friendship and caring for each other does not come in age groups it comes in being there listening wanting the best. I have a friend Sharon who is quite younger than me and I would do so much for her because she is amazing just wonderful she has listened to me cry down the phone and prayed for me and always just loves me for me. Friends have sent gifts from England when I was homesick and others helped with yard sales to make money to go home. It is not in just words we find true friends and true bonds it is being there always to care and love each other through good bad and ugly times to hold someones hands and say you are going to be alright when their world is falling apart is priceless. My sister and all those memories are to me just as present today as yesterday because a few things have not changed I love her more today than yesterday, she will always be my sister and no one can take that away and I understand just a little more today about her. So for that I am grateful. So even you live miles away for now from friends and family take the moment to remember the good and just listen to someone else you might give them hope in more ways than you would ever know. Please have a cup of tea with me today.