Trials of life.

I took a test today I did not pass I failed to be honest I had to make 75% I made 44% I sat crying in my car driving aimlessly around a city. But in all my tears and nearly fogged up sunglasses I had told God I don't want anything in my life unless it is truly what you want. I knew in myself I had answered questions the way they should of been answered before and now in my heart I told God I would rather be poor than have something that you don't want for me. But God please get me home to see my family in England and please provide for me and my family. I don't want to always be asking but God please see my heart. As I sat doing test after test at home I realized one thing if we come to realize that God is everything then perhaps in that moment He takes the reins and makes something out of nothing. My the trials for me have been long and long and I so have cried so many tears. Yet inside I see how God has changed little old me. Perhaps next week I will past this test perhaps not,but one thing I do know through all the years I have lived God still cares for me. You might not see it and as I type this I am saying God don't forget how much I want to go home and please God remember me. He does see it all and I do believe He will make away.It is like the picture below it is drift wood to some quite ugly but to me I found it absolutely beautiful. What Man says is impossible God says He can and He will. Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Do churches just really live by their mission statements.

A friend said to read a churches mission statement and see if they are living it. To be honest I had never heard of a mission statement. Perhaps in reflection we all should have a mission statement to live by. It would appear many churches require a certain dress code, which I can understand to a certain degree,but say if you do not have enough money for a suit or a dress from the mall? Perhaps all you can afford is a pair of jeans with holes in them. What would Jesus do would He still accept them or look the other way? Is a church there to meet our own needs of society with loud music and words that no one can understand unless you are a scholar? Do the young have to be reached by merely going to loud concerts? I think to me Jesus reached us where we are at, He made it so anyone could understand. I love what I read about C.S.Lewis when Christians would say that they are saved...from what? It is a phrase I have used but now I see it is not in a word saying that you are saved it is in seeking God so that we can be more like Him, we ask Christ into our lives so that the world through are actions can see Christ. Listen some days I do not do good at this but it should be something as Christians we strive to do. So in searching the truth about where to worship God, perhaps the question lies in do churches just meet our need and who are they trying to reach out to. Words are just words unless a person can understand them and going to church does not make you a Christian it is indeed living out your mission statement that you have decided your Christian life will be in believing in a true and living God. Been a Christian is not a free ride it is mission for life and life to come.It is not in how big a church you worship in or how grand it is. It is in searching ourselves to draw us closer to a God that died for us.

In God who we trust is that just words .... or do you live it.

As I sit here, I am reminded how much I use to take for granted. Kids in private schools, going home every two years, buying groceries where I wanted and not counting the pennies as much as I do now and having medical insurance. It's amazing I find myself praying for the grocery bill to be less and the gas pump to stop at a certain price. I find myself seeing life in a moment of why are so many people hurting and why do so little have compassion. The word help surely was not just like the movie The Help which was an amazing movie in more ways than just a hiring of domestic help, it surely means reaching out. Yet many in today's society cry help and take from Government programs do nothing to change their lives, while others who need the help slip through the cracks. I was shocked horrified to be honest that the court system offers little help if any to those who genuinely need Help. Perhaps in truth I should stand in the court house offering to clean their floors, would then I be offered help. It is not like that. Doors close and you have to find peace in yourself That this world has nothing to give and that people our mere mortals who seek mainly to please themselves, but their is a God who see's it all. As I sit today a little homesick a little down that my life has not been a bed of roses,more like a bed of roses bushes with thorns. I am reminded that in praising God in the storms and for the little things, that God see's little me. One can never find peace in Government where mere humans run the chaos,it is only in God that one can know in Him alone will one find peace. In God we trust, I wonder as I read that statement that Americans have said so many times.. Is that a statement to those who are rich or for all who enter her lands.I think it is a question many should ask. It is more than just words on a paper or money, one has to live it and how hard is it if you have money coming out of your ears so to speak. The challenge is to those of us who cry when the bill comes in and is less or an answer to a prayer, it is not as easy as just sitting in a chair and signing one's name. Better to be the woman like in the movie The Help, than the woman she worked with who in truth had nothing.

The old American Dream

The American Dream, well I've lived in America fifteen years now and I have observed a few things. The American Dream does exist for those who climb the corporate ladder and work over forty hours a week with not much holiday. You clock into the American system of giving your life to your job. Then there is the medical system...I will have to say that the private system is a pretty amazing system. But come to having to pay for that private health care by yourself it comes at a hefty price. Low income has to be very low income to get help from medicare. Then the system for helping you in the courts is .... well you better have money because without it no one wants to help you. The American dream I believe is still out there but it comes at a price.. Like every country it has it's good points and bad points. The wide open roads, the history of how the pioneers found the new land and the amazing National Parks are still here. But greed of man has obviously taken over and people have lost what really America was founded on One God... that one God who says Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Then phil 2.4 which says Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. So if you end up in America be prepared to fight for what America use to be.. because it is a hard long road. I am glad that though I am not an American... I truly believe in what the for fathers dream was.

Life and the lessons we can learn.

Since my brothers death three years ago this year and my own divorce two years ago I have sure learnt a lot of things.
Being compassionate is really the way to go rather than sitting back and taking it all. When Scott died some people were full of compassion and others just did not know what to say. It is so easy to walk away from others pain rather than offer help or a kind word.
I might not have much but if I can pray or make a person smile at least in my mind I have given something back.
It is true that harsh words kill someone and revenge and bitterness at the end of the day only kills the person who  is in that state of mind.
Better to walk into Spring reflecting on how to give a little than continually take.
Bless a person with your smile, with your words and make this world just a little better.

Me

New Beginnings.

Each year offers a time to reflect and a time of new beginnings. It also offers a time for us to reconnect with old friends. Many times are busy lives do not allow us much time to take the time, to just be a friend. The older I get the more I realize how short life really is and it is in the small things that life really counts. A phone call, a smile, a hug, a kind word, a special note or reaching out to someone from a long time ago.Many of us have lived through many hard times and those times will either change you or make you very unapproachable. As life ticks by I really want to learn from what I have gone through in life. Ever heard the phrase "Stop and smell the roses" Well this year I want to make sure I certainly do that and learn to be a bit more "me" and see life without "The Purple Glasses" on so to speak. It is never to late until the doctors declare you are dead. So live life,dream a little, laugh a little and give out, in my world, a whole lot more Love. Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Words for the New Year 2013 from My Dad many years ago.

Many New years it would snow in Aylmerton where I lived when I was a child. Although I did not live there many years of my life. I am drawn to it and my heart just has so many good memories of the days I lived there. My Dad would say that when it snowed on New years Day it wiped the world clean. As we walked in the woods and as I sit here I am reminded how cold those days were, it appeared such a long walk back to the house and my legs ached and my hands were freezing, boots piled by the back door and gloves would be hung on the radiators with the snow dripping onto the floor. The walks in the woods I recall so well. Have you ever watched The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and seen those snow scenes? Well if I close my eyes the woods at Roman Camp and behind Renwick Park in West Runton were so much like those woods. Each year I reflect on what my Dad said all those years ago and as it rained where I live yesterday I thought how God was showing me all my tears and that it was time to move on. My Dad probably never thought much about those words nor do I think anyone in my family did, but to this day I think of how God can wipe us clean as white as snow and every New Year I reflect on my Dad's words. Perhaps my Dad did not even realize how much those words would mean to his youngest child.

I guess often we never realize what impact our words have. So if your reading this. I encourage you to Dream Big, Forgive a lot, laugh a lot and see how God can make your world as clean as snow this year and My wish for all of you is that this year is the best ever. Please have a cup of tea with me This year is going to be a good one so hold on tight. And thanks Dad for your words all those years ago.