Prom

Prom, a daunting word to many this congers up fear and anxiety. Prom that thought of how much a dress costs, who will ask me and does anyone really notice me. I never went to Prom they did not do it back in the day when I was at school in England. Not even a disco party was held at my school. Do I feel I missed out probably not. I would have been the wall flower not knowing how to dance or though back then I took ballroom lessons and I would have felt intimidated by others. Perhaps not much has changed in honesty. Prom, a lot of money spent on one day. But what can we learn from that one day. Many can buy dresses at second-hand places and make them look like designer dresses or buy one at a store on sale. My own daughter and her friend brought theirs with their own money and had their hair and make up done by their sisters. Some walk in with thousand dollar dresses, yes I said thousand. But my daughter and her friend they shone exemplifying that even in hardship for one night they could shine be a Princess and not worry about life. It is for many a young person a time to dance to laugh and be young, not allowing life to pull you down, for just a few moments you are pulled into a world of laughter and feeling like you can conquer the world. This was my daughters last prom I wished to God I could have brought the Cinderella dress she wanted, but regardless of what mum wanted she looked amazing she was my Cinderella and I her chauffeur. It is all a matter of our heart truly a Prom does not define you but it is who you choose you are and embracing the moment when just for one moment life has stopped and you can dance until there is no tomorrow. My daughter did not go with a date nor her friend. They saw a young lady who wore a dress her grandmother wore to prom and her mother and now her, the dress might not have looked great but instead of people pulling that young lady down i was told how her friends encouraged her. Isn't that what life is about being a support to each other and wanting the best for them even at Prom. I may hate driving at night but I would drive every night if it was to hear my daughter so happy and smiling so much. I picked them up at 10.30 pm but they were amazing been so polite not rude that mum was there at 10.30pm. I learnt last night that fear sometimes can overwhelm you that you can be frozen and so I am glad I drove in the dark to pick up two amazing young ladies it taught me I can do it and I would do it all again for them. Prom is just one moment in time and you can either let yourself shine and be blessed or let it pull you down. We all look back with regrets but don't let Prom be one of them. Let it be the start of an amazing time in your life where you start to shine and allow the whole world to see that. I know if I had my chance I would go to Prom and I would dance like there is no tomorrow. So Shine and let the world be amazed you are going to do great things I already know.

Where is my magic wand

As the days tick by since my girls dad left for San Fran my heart is sure heavy and I find myself asking where is my magic wand. I so wished for the many friends I know who are going through tough times that I had a magic wand. I find myself literally aching inside and yearning wishing I could change the horrible reality that I and my friends face. We all still having to go on, pressing forward trying to keep our homes, find jobs and be brave for our families. My amazing friend in Ohio who is British yesterday when I said I want my wand I want a wand to change all this mess her reply "we're going to build you a wand" it might not have meant anything to her but to me it meant the world. My heart is broken, heavy and I feel exhausted but her faith in the fact of making a new life for me gave me hope. Maybe I just have a tiny stick in my hand right now but if I take some baby steps and have faith I can build my wand to change not my life but others around and then my heart will not be so heavy. So find a person who can encourage you and help you believe you can build your wand. I am more than blessed that my friend Diane through thick and thin see

s the best in me I will never forget the day my brother died and how she listened for hours as I sobbed and how she just made me feel so not alone. The comradeship of being friends, from England, divorced and often feeling alone allows us to hold each other up and laugh together and know that we will always be there for each other. So hold onto that stick because one day it will be a wand that will change the world you see..

Brooken

As the world celebrates Kate and Will's second child. It is so easy for many divorced or separated couples to forget those wonderful moments when they too were once happy. I remember the birth of both of my children like it was yesterday. Moments captured in my heart like a time capsule. However I cannot tell you who filed to be separated but I can tell you the moment I received divorce papers the gutted feeling I felt the shattered dream moment that pierced my heart. I also remember clearly when my brother died I can tell you most of what happened that morning and who I spoke too. Moments pierced in my heart and never forgotten. Today yet another my ex left for California he could not find a job in NC that paid what he use to be on and so took a job 2,800 miles from his children. I am not suppose to be gutted but as a tried to keep my distance at the airport I found myself sobbing with tears and in the end this man that i am divorced from agreeing to a picture of us all and hugging me tight like there was no tomorrow we all stood there hopeless all hugging each other. For one moment in time we were not divorced we were all one family saddened by life grasping to hold it together. I am suppose to be the grown up stiff upper lip my mum would say your British don't cry but tears flooded. I felt alone, unable to steer a boat to shore wanting to have a wand and make it all so different. Yet this is what it is. Do people ever realize the brokenness of divorce maybe not, do they ever learn from it some I am sure do others just hold onto bitterness and others like me our helpless and maybe naive in always been a huge romantic believing for dreams and fairy tales. Perhaps though in our brokenness we find that there is that human factor that can care.

I do not have any answers I sure feel a huge part of me is no longer here. Life is not always what we make it but it is making every day count and seeing the good in each other that make us and the world a better place.