Friendship and life

My sister and I are seven years apart, we shared a room as children. She probably hated it more than me. I would keep her awake at night, not wanting to be the last one asleep. We eventually had our own rooms her a smaller room which to me now looking back appears totally unfair as she was older. She never complained about her room or about me keeping her awake. She would decorate our room at Christmas and put up with me forever cleaning my cupboard out. At age five I had a horrible room, we had this room that was the lounge and our parents decided to divide into our room, but I had the side with not much light. So I would sleep on the floor on my sisters side. She was my protector and the one that put up with me. Years have gone by since those days of sharing a bedroom and as I sit and look back it was such a fragment of time. I live along way from her now and yet I will always love and care for her. It's interesting life can be when our brother died I think it made us realize what we had in each other and I am thankful for that. See friendship and caring for each other does not come in age groups it comes in being there listening wanting the best. I have a friend Sharon who is quite younger than me and I would do so much for her because she is amazing just wonderful she has listened to me cry down the phone and prayed for me and always just loves me for me. Friends have sent gifts from England when I was homesick and others helped with yard sales to make money to go home. It is not in just words we find true friends and true bonds it is being there always to care and love each other through good bad and ugly times to hold someones hands and say you are going to be alright when their world is falling apart is priceless. My sister and all those memories are to me just as present today as yesterday because a few things have not changed I love her more today than yesterday, she will always be my sister and no one can take that away and I understand just a little more today about her. So for that I am grateful. So even you live miles away for now from friends and family take the moment to remember the good and just listen to someone else you might give them hope in more ways than you would ever know. Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Change

I absolutely hate change and yet my life has been nothing but change.My parents divorced good or bad as that was. In my mind I wanted the home I grew up in as a teen to always be ours, a place to always come home to. When I visited it six years ago I found myself so wanting my family to be there and not the new owners who had don up the house. Then in my own life I wanted the classic family that went on holidays and were forever there for each. I did get that in my children, just not in my marriage. And so again as my sister moves I find myself not wanting change. The familiarity of her home and the faces now all grown up and her life has changed, not by her choice but by life and so they have to move and I find myself grieving yet another loss in my life. Not like a death but a one yearning for something to just stay the same. I have a friend who has not moved from her Village and years ago I would of thought that this was very square and absolutely boring yet now the older I am I realize that this is pure heaven. She has been able to bring up her children with traditions from the past and present and embodied in them the value of her life and the things that hold true to her. It is those things not a television or computer that she and her husband have managed to bring up four amazing young ladies, with strong family values, believes and traditions. Yet so many of us are drawn to move and find adventure. In looking at my life I believe that adventure can be found around us and that perhaps we lose out on many blessings by always wanting more and go out into this world to find it. Change can be good but perhaps in seeing how my friend has embraced lives changes and combined the past, there is a sense of harmony and that no one can put a price too. Please have a cup of tea with me today.

College at forty-six years old.

Well I took a leap of faith, or stupidity some might say and signed up for college. I was accepted at a very prestigious college however these colleges often do not bare into their factors that one might not want to end up with owing loads of money. It appears that they are oblivious to the fact that one has to eat and survive four years and then at the end if you took out their massive loans you would be paying it back beyond your life time. So I went to a local

college. I felt out of place in a world of hustle and bustle of young people, but I sucked it up and went on my first day. Parking was absolutely awful and I had to ask a young man to park my car. I have found that balancing my life is a huge balancing act. Some of the young people in my class appear to talk more than take it seriously. My life is ticking by and I am running this race asking God to direct me and open up doors for me. As I sit here I have to type up another essay today for one of my classes. To the many who venture to get a degree at an older age I encourage you not to think of yourself as a disadvantage more that you are more mature and perhaps value life more. More that you have something amazing to give the world. I might be forty six but that is just a number and does not reflect what I as a person can give to this world and neither should your age. So go for whatever dreams you have and fly high. Pleas have a cup of tea with me today.

Believing in Yourself

We can stand and feel courageous. We aren't meant to feel belittled, or small, or like nothing. We are meant to feel like with God we can achieve great things, anything. Sometimes through trials, it is easy to feel like our world is a wall just crumbling. But we aren't meant to feel that way. We are supposed to use those crumbling stones as stepping stones to something better. Maybe we went through a trial so we can finally see how others are struggling and how even with an encouraging word you can help them. Maybe it was or will be to bring you to something better beyond your wildest dreams. One of my favourite verses is in 1 Peter 5:10 which says, "And the God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself Restore you and make you Strong, Firm, and Steadfast." God not only is with us through everything but also is there to help us through it and after it. He is there for us. When life seems to rock our world, we need to stand strong together in God who can bring us through it and will always be there to help us. We should stand Courgeously.

Please have a cup of tea with me today. Em

Daddy..I will always love you..please say you will always love me !!

My dad and i use to go for walks, and play peaking out of a window game. He never dressed up as Father Christmas, i choice to not have him give me away when I got married and he has never seen my children. Yet how many women young and old can truly say all they want to hear is their Dad say that He loves them and then perhaps say that they are sorry. We all mess up,don't get me wrong but the lessons of being a parent are huge. It is in simple things like listening in admitting you were wrong at times and seeing that life is not all about yourself but actually giving back of yourself and seeing someone live a better life than you perhaps did. It is in just being there with your whole heart no excuses not saying a word but giving with no cost but a heart of compassion and brokenness and hearing what your child really has to say. It is as if time has stopped and you get a moment to not reclaim years but to make peace with all the tears you have cried inside. Yet so many parents do not cross this road, is it pride, is it their own insecurities or is it just their own doubt that perhaps in listening and allowing another to share their pain and that person being the very person they brought into the world that they might not be loved. I tell you in listening in being venerable one allows God to stop the world and you learn to have compassion you learn that to love one most carry another's burdens and to love your own child you must lay down your own self to hear the broken cries of so many children/adults who cry from their hearts Daddy I will always love you... please say you will always love me. It is simple men however old we as women and girls are we all just want a dad to listen and just truly love us. One that says That's my girl and says truly with a humble heart I am proud of my girl and I will always love you... So will you Man up or will you watch your son or daughter cry alone.. Your choice... but let me tell you time waits for no man and it does not wait for you.

Blessing others, lets all get involved.

It is so easy to get caught up in our own worries and not bless others. But there are some very simple things we can do that cost little if anything. A phone call,a letter sent email or an actual letter. If you are in a place where you can bless someone then do so, God entrusted you with that money not for you to be greedy. Give without adding how you are blessing them and how you are on a tight budget do it because it is right. Offer to cut the grass or clean someone's house or even baby sit or walk someone's dog. Stop looking in and more out. Cook a meal, clean a kitchen, clean someone's car buy some flowers. The list could go on. Every day many people and children go without food. Starbucks and many other stores that brew up coffee every single day throw away their coffee grains you can get these for free just go by and ask and these can be used on gardens and compost heaps. Every day food stores chuck out bread and food. Some is given to food banks, but go by see if you can get some and bless a family. Food stores that cut up fruit for fruit bowls chuck up peel every single day. This can be used to feed pigs etc or even on a compost heap. Food stores chuck out slightly bruised foods. We have become such perfect orientated that we cannot simply cut out a bruise on an apple. Food stores chuck out vegetables and fruit that have some rotten one's in that batch. By simply going through it and sorting it out you can bless others. Please note that with fruit and vegetables they must be washed before freezing and used for consumption. By simply going to stores and reaching out to others you can look beyond your circumstance and find blessing. I challenge you to do so. http://www.feeding5k.org/ The link above is based in England and simply is a challenge. I truly encourage you to make a difference because we all can.

The yoyo game of a heart....!!

In life we all want that one person that loves us, that buy's flowers for us and that makes us feel so special. The problem is with that when a person becomes divorced is that one is often drawn to people who have the very same attributes that you left behind. Also one word of kindness does not mean someone has changed it is simply one word. One holds onto that one word allowing that one word to be like God had spoken it Himself and wanting to think that we are normal again. You want that pressure of not having to wonder if money is paid in or if silly mental games are been played. It is a yoyo and perhaps in truth we allow it. We are so low on love so to speak like a car running out of fuel that we want our love tank of kind words and expressions to be filled by love that in truth all we are filling it up with is air and water and more issues arise. Children and young people face this if they are from a divorced home. It is almost like liking a kid at school that is unreachable a guy on the football team so to speak he smiles and your like he loves me when reality he is cheating on every girl he has ever dated. Perhaps as I type this it is more important in these times to plough our minds into a God who never changes and to find people that direct us to true love. The Bible says in 1 cor 13:1-13 how love is patient and talks in depth what love is and is not. I believe in normal words what is says is this Love is not a person at a masquerade ball, love is not a yoyo or a deceiver love is not a bowl been hit on a rope and going no where, love does not play games that are only played to hurt the other and love is not their to make you feel lonely and empty and unloved. No love is none of those so why are we drawn to that love. It is simply because we are so wanting love that we forget and ignore what love truly is I say to you reading this, pick up the armor of righteousness and stand firm in who you are in God. Because all the rest is but a lie from the devil and we are so much better than the devil's lie. A rose is who you are not a piece of trash so don't forget that if God's son died for you then we need to hold onto that He loves us enough to truly love us how we should be loved in perfect love. So remember you are not a yoyo but you are perfectly and wonderfully made in God's image and He loves you. You are not alone and your love is perfect in Him.

The blaming game... oh so grow up PLEASE.

Ever just blamed someone for something you have done...sure you have, I have. Easier to not to live in conviction that you might be wrong and need to have your attitude checked. Easy in life to think that by doing certain things that one gets gratification in the way that you think you should. The problem is with that, that is your expectations are so high and the other problem no one can read your mind. It is easy to blame everyone else, but as children grow up this becomes a problem in an adult who has learnt as a child perhaps to blame others and not be held accountable. Saying sorry is one thing. Actions need to be followed through and it is that, that makes you a man or a woman of integrity. In today's world we have almost brought up a society of finger pointing immature children in adult body's. As a society we have made people blaming another an acceptable thing. In court room settings the finger pointing carries on to an extent that the integrity of another is destroyed. Someone who holds themselves accountable is looked as perhaps weak but in truth they are the person that society needs to be turning to and moving towards. The name blame game is looked at in children as a thing not to do yet in adults it is acceptable. I say where have all the people of integrity gone where has a man or woman gone who will take full accountability for their actions and not point the finger but say when they are wrong expecting nothing in return other than the knowledge that doing what is right is all that matters with or without praise. Grace is indeed being not the name blaming person but taking full responsibility for one's own actions and expecting nothing in return. Now what person are you going to be?!!!

Lessons parents can learn from divorced children

Let me make it very clear. Single parents do not have it all together. If you think that then perhaps you need to take off the purple colored sunglasses and take a long hard look. Reality is simply that being a single parent is a tough job and not for the weak in heart.When a child is sick you have to deal with it and you alone forget about sleep after all it is so overrated.... When food needs to be done and you are married you may have the option of eating out,but in general not as a single parent every penny counts. Chores are often not given because some are stay at home mothers and even dad's and perhaps we feel bad when homework is building to expect things to be picked up, often just learning to be polite is put on the back shelf so as not to upset your dear child as you think or tell yourself you want the best. But is that? Where did Please and Thank you go? Reality is that most single parents have not got it all together many have trained themselves well to balance multiple jobs with little praise. One thing I have seen is that single mothers often give their children responsibilities that others may not give them. The chance to learn to make food, everyone pitching in to raise money to go out. The chance to learn to keep a clean house, or even the ability to understand the idea of a budget, wow now that is an idea. So as I type here perhaps children from divorced homes do have an edge over one's from parents that are together. Yes they both have valuable assets. But the assets of life and learning to get along with become not an option but a tool to learn how to solve issues and problems and those will go with them for life and single parents have to work at these issues daily with their children none can be swept under the carpet. So before you look the other way at a family who is now a single parenting family perhaps you should look and watch how well balanced many of those children are. See it is easy to sit back and not allow your children to grow up but single parents do not have that option they have to make sure that all is done and in doing that they can provide their children some valuable life lessons from cooking to gardening to budgeting. Perhaps indeed I could of been taught a lesson or two from a single parent.

Think once,twice and then again before you file divorce.

Think twice and then twice again. Actions speak louder than words I have heard that one all my life. So as I sit here I think back to many times when my emotions or what I thought was getting back at the world was justified. The older I have got the more I realize that one needs to think once, twice and then talk with someone that can see how your actions are going to affect another. In divorce actions hurt so many people. It is interesting if we took all that time into thinking how to build a marriage up or how to spend quality time with another perhaps the outcome would of been different. In truth we can spend more time in a divorce tearing the other down than perhaps we did in the marriage building the other up. My parents would of been married 58 years this year and me 20. Sad to say I never saw my parents spend quality time together and I can say the same that my ex spouse and I spent little quality time together. It is a tough road once you are on the road of divorce no one tells you to much about regrets or mistakes they made it is in general swept under the carpet and one often can focus on all the bad. If I look back at my parents marriage they were indeed very similar, if I look back on my own we had the qualities that the other needed but never bothered to see that. So my advice before you file think once, twice and then again. Once done the hurt the pain is in motion and to be honest you may live with that regret forever.

Emotions of a divorce last for years.

I came from a divorced home, so in writing this I see from both sides of the coin. Parents argue for years about the other. Some choose to see the good and rarely mention the other but that percentage is rare. The money spent in dissolving a marriage is huge and the money spent on a marriage can add up but the dissolving costs oh so much more. It is a time of sorrow of pain for many they dare not look back and realize that to find good instead of bad might resolve in owning their own mistakes and actually not signing their name to a piece of paper. How many of us would be sitting on a porch swings or a deck chair if we had just stopped and spent more time seeing the good. Off course life can change things. Many are put on medication to cure depression and such now a days, but I caution those who stay on that a long time. Personalities can change, what was reality is now distorted and perhaps where you got help for now is in fact a giant running your life. Because medicine and medicine alone does nothing. From what I have seen emotions and scares from a divorce last a life time. Yes some have found happiness. But deep down I beat many would just wish it all could of worked. It is not in blaming life and others but in perhaps realizing that the road of divorce is simply a road that divides and never meets again but that one continually see's in the distance.

50/50 or perhaps the issue lies before marriage!!

Divorce in the Bible sure was warned against. But perhaps what is not talked about much in the Bible is how that affects the children involved. I like many others have come from a divorced home and to this day I often wish I could just go home where there is a mum and a dad. Easier said. Children and young people who have to deal with divorce really in my mind grow up very fast as if their childhood is taken away and they are counting down the minutes until 18 hits and they can have a voice in this crazy mess. Easy in court room settings to say 50/50 but much harder for the people living it. It is easy to say that you know best or a judge to cast a judgement on a situation that they hear for a moment in time. When raw emotions and the very children you brought into the world with love our now been ordered by a court judgement to do what may hurt them the most. No one looks at long term 5,10 or even 20 years from now. I wonder if you took a group of divorced kids and asked them to really say how they felt about their parents divorce what they would say. I would say the resounding message would be that they wanted security. Yet society brushes these facts to the side and money is made by lawyers and such a like. Perhaps the root of the issue is before the marriage more training in communications telling the couple you must go through a financial class and communications class before this land or any other will allow them to marry. You say that is harsh but isn't that what you are telling the many young people who are told you have to do this 50/50, this is what the courts feel is best for you. Perhaps if the issue was dealt with by the very adults who said "I do" to begin with less children, young people would be pushed in the middle of a court system that just see's their name on a piece of paper and selfish parents who will not see that life of their children is ticking by ever so quickly.

No one can do this life without God.

The older I get and the more I see how hard life can be for many wonderful people. I look in amazement how can a person do this all without God. In all what I have gone through one pillar stays faithful is my belief in One Almighty God who has never let me down. At times I wonder where He is and why oh God, but in those moments I know for sure if it was not for Him and Him alone I would be indeed lost. I have seen many things in my life many wave the flag that they are doing things because God told them, in truth it is nothing than their own selfish judgements and wants. It is the Christian who walks daily and wonders what would God want me to do that does not receive the glory but perhaps receives a crown when all is said and done. In my opinion of life one is only deceived if one thinks you can do life without God. Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Life is but a fragment.

Many of us spend hours squabbling and arguing about petty little things. Many spend a lifetime in the court system making their point made known to the world. While time slips through our hands, like a water faucet with running water gushing. But time is but a fragment a wonderful waterfall that at a moment can stop, that beauty gone. Many say well someone else can look after that person or as long as I have the last say then all is well. In truth all is not well. Life slips through are hands and we are left perhaps with the convictions that maybe we should have just gone the extra mile, maybe not for the sake of duty but for the sake of what it can do for our own souls. I maybe just a cashier but I have had more joy given to me, by holding someone's hand smiling, sharing their grief, sorrow and love. Life is but a moment.Yet answer this how many moments have you wasted been bitter? Perhaps it is all justified but when all is said and done time has slipped by and you are older and others may have gone. Life is indeed a fragment, a vapor in time and yet what will we do in that vapor of time to make a difference?

Trials of life.

I took a test today I did not pass I failed to be honest I had to make 75% I made 44% I sat crying in my car driving aimlessly around a city. But in all my tears and nearly fogged up sunglasses I had told God I don't want anything in my life unless it is truly what you want. I knew in myself I had answered questions the way they should of been answered before and now in my heart I told God I would rather be poor than have something that you don't want for me. But God please get me home to see my family in England and please provide for me and my family. I don't want to always be asking but God please see my heart. As I sat doing test after test at home I realized one thing if we come to realize that God is everything then perhaps in that moment He takes the reins and makes something out of nothing. My the trials for me have been long and long and I so have cried so many tears. Yet inside I see how God has changed little old me. Perhaps next week I will past this test perhaps not,but one thing I do know through all the years I have lived God still cares for me. You might not see it and as I type this I am saying God don't forget how much I want to go home and please God remember me. He does see it all and I do believe He will make away.It is like the picture below it is drift wood to some quite ugly but to me I found it absolutely beautiful. What Man says is impossible God says He can and He will. Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Do churches just really live by their mission statements.

A friend said to read a churches mission statement and see if they are living it. To be honest I had never heard of a mission statement. Perhaps in reflection we all should have a mission statement to live by. It would appear many churches require a certain dress code, which I can understand to a certain degree,but say if you do not have enough money for a suit or a dress from the mall? Perhaps all you can afford is a pair of jeans with holes in them. What would Jesus do would He still accept them or look the other way? Is a church there to meet our own needs of society with loud music and words that no one can understand unless you are a scholar? Do the young have to be reached by merely going to loud concerts? I think to me Jesus reached us where we are at, He made it so anyone could understand. I love what I read about C.S.Lewis when Christians would say that they are saved...from what? It is a phrase I have used but now I see it is not in a word saying that you are saved it is in seeking God so that we can be more like Him, we ask Christ into our lives so that the world through are actions can see Christ. Listen some days I do not do good at this but it should be something as Christians we strive to do. So in searching the truth about where to worship God, perhaps the question lies in do churches just meet our need and who are they trying to reach out to. Words are just words unless a person can understand them and going to church does not make you a Christian it is indeed living out your mission statement that you have decided your Christian life will be in believing in a true and living God. Been a Christian is not a free ride it is mission for life and life to come.It is not in how big a church you worship in or how grand it is. It is in searching ourselves to draw us closer to a God that died for us.

In God who we trust is that just words .... or do you live it.

As I sit here, I am reminded how much I use to take for granted. Kids in private schools, going home every two years, buying groceries where I wanted and not counting the pennies as much as I do now and having medical insurance. It's amazing I find myself praying for the grocery bill to be less and the gas pump to stop at a certain price. I find myself seeing life in a moment of why are so many people hurting and why do so little have compassion. The word help surely was not just like the movie The Help which was an amazing movie in more ways than just a hiring of domestic help, it surely means reaching out. Yet many in today's society cry help and take from Government programs do nothing to change their lives, while others who need the help slip through the cracks. I was shocked horrified to be honest that the court system offers little help if any to those who genuinely need Help. Perhaps in truth I should stand in the court house offering to clean their floors, would then I be offered help. It is not like that. Doors close and you have to find peace in yourself That this world has nothing to give and that people our mere mortals who seek mainly to please themselves, but their is a God who see's it all. As I sit today a little homesick a little down that my life has not been a bed of roses,more like a bed of roses bushes with thorns. I am reminded that in praising God in the storms and for the little things, that God see's little me. One can never find peace in Government where mere humans run the chaos,it is only in God that one can know in Him alone will one find peace. In God we trust, I wonder as I read that statement that Americans have said so many times.. Is that a statement to those who are rich or for all who enter her lands.I think it is a question many should ask. It is more than just words on a paper or money, one has to live it and how hard is it if you have money coming out of your ears so to speak. The challenge is to those of us who cry when the bill comes in and is less or an answer to a prayer, it is not as easy as just sitting in a chair and signing one's name. Better to be the woman like in the movie The Help, than the woman she worked with who in truth had nothing.

The old American Dream

The American Dream, well I've lived in America fifteen years now and I have observed a few things. The American Dream does exist for those who climb the corporate ladder and work over forty hours a week with not much holiday. You clock into the American system of giving your life to your job. Then there is the medical system...I will have to say that the private system is a pretty amazing system. But come to having to pay for that private health care by yourself it comes at a hefty price. Low income has to be very low income to get help from medicare. Then the system for helping you in the courts is .... well you better have money because without it no one wants to help you. The American dream I believe is still out there but it comes at a price.. Like every country it has it's good points and bad points. The wide open roads, the history of how the pioneers found the new land and the amazing National Parks are still here. But greed of man has obviously taken over and people have lost what really America was founded on One God... that one God who says Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Then phil 2.4 which says Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. So if you end up in America be prepared to fight for what America use to be.. because it is a hard long road. I am glad that though I am not an American... I truly believe in what the for fathers dream was.

Life and the lessons we can learn.

Since my brothers death three years ago this year and my own divorce two years ago I have sure learnt a lot of things.
Being compassionate is really the way to go rather than sitting back and taking it all. When Scott died some people were full of compassion and others just did not know what to say. It is so easy to walk away from others pain rather than offer help or a kind word.
I might not have much but if I can pray or make a person smile at least in my mind I have given something back.
It is true that harsh words kill someone and revenge and bitterness at the end of the day only kills the person who  is in that state of mind.
Better to walk into Spring reflecting on how to give a little than continually take.
Bless a person with your smile, with your words and make this world just a little better.

Me

New Beginnings.

Each year offers a time to reflect and a time of new beginnings. It also offers a time for us to reconnect with old friends. Many times are busy lives do not allow us much time to take the time, to just be a friend. The older I get the more I realize how short life really is and it is in the small things that life really counts. A phone call, a smile, a hug, a kind word, a special note or reaching out to someone from a long time ago.Many of us have lived through many hard times and those times will either change you or make you very unapproachable. As life ticks by I really want to learn from what I have gone through in life. Ever heard the phrase "Stop and smell the roses" Well this year I want to make sure I certainly do that and learn to be a bit more "me" and see life without "The Purple Glasses" on so to speak. It is never to late until the doctors declare you are dead. So live life,dream a little, laugh a little and give out, in my world, a whole lot more Love. Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Words for the New Year 2013 from My Dad many years ago.

Many New years it would snow in Aylmerton where I lived when I was a child. Although I did not live there many years of my life. I am drawn to it and my heart just has so many good memories of the days I lived there. My Dad would say that when it snowed on New years Day it wiped the world clean. As we walked in the woods and as I sit here I am reminded how cold those days were, it appeared such a long walk back to the house and my legs ached and my hands were freezing, boots piled by the back door and gloves would be hung on the radiators with the snow dripping onto the floor. The walks in the woods I recall so well. Have you ever watched The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and seen those snow scenes? Well if I close my eyes the woods at Roman Camp and behind Renwick Park in West Runton were so much like those woods. Each year I reflect on what my Dad said all those years ago and as it rained where I live yesterday I thought how God was showing me all my tears and that it was time to move on. My Dad probably never thought much about those words nor do I think anyone in my family did, but to this day I think of how God can wipe us clean as white as snow and every New Year I reflect on my Dad's words. Perhaps my Dad did not even realize how much those words would mean to his youngest child.

I guess often we never realize what impact our words have. So if your reading this. I encourage you to Dream Big, Forgive a lot, laugh a lot and see how God can make your world as clean as snow this year and My wish for all of you is that this year is the best ever. Please have a cup of tea with me This year is going to be a good one so hold on tight. And thanks Dad for your words all those years ago.