Reflections on 2010

As we watch the ticking clock and see the New year entered in one county as a time. I reflect on this year. I went back to work part time at the moment after years of staying at home,my girls left their school, tried and I am still trying to remodify my house, went to mediation many times, Scott died and I was handed divorce papers, and today massive toothache. So along with the ugly goes the good, I have learnt who are some good friends, learnt to smile in the rain at times, learnt what a catalatic exhaust is, learnt that homeschooling is not so bad,that I still love history and art, that God sends blessings along the way financial and through people's words, I mean a woman in the street hugged me, Ali from school has encouraged me and made me laugh. My girls are growing up to be amazing young ladies, my dogs love me even more and playing in the snow and laughing is so much more fun than been a bah humbug. That through my brothers death I got to understand how others feel in grieving. So looking at the good makes my heart know I am not alone. This new Year holds what the pages waiting to be written. 2011 wow I will be 44 so here we go to an amazing year. Thanks God
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Bargain or not a Bargain?

Bargain or not a bargain. My daughters and I love Crackell Barrell it is a warm lovely resturant with a crafty shop as you enter it. We love buying Christmas decorations there. We often find bargains like we did the other day small ornaments for 40 cents. But how many times do we pick something up and have no need for it. It is not a bargain it is us spending money and the item just tossed in the closet. If you think of friendship we often go the bargain way of investing little time in a friendship and expecting a lot back. It is the time spent that makes or brakes a good friendship. Like really thinking if you need an item. You truely feel better and feel you have a bargain after thinking about it for a few minutes or even days. My daughter and I bought a salt and pepper shaker she looked at the receipt and noticed I was not charged for it. We went back and paid for it. It is honesty that sets up a standard of doing what is right. So think before the bargain gremline comes along.

Please have a cup of tea with me today.

White as snow or what?

The snow covered a lot. Yesterday my daughter and I was talking about how the snow is like Jesus cleansing us of all our sin. I pointed out that some people portray that they are as white as snow however underneath that white disguise is poop. I had not cleared all my dogs mess up before it had snowed but as soon as the snow melted there it was waiting for me to clean up. So it is with our sin if we do nothing about it it will decay like poop and stink.
So be watchful sometimes things are not what they appear to be.
On the other hand if a person is genuine God clean up the worst poopy mess.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Snow much fun.

My dad use to always say that the snow wiped the wold clean. We had 8-12 inches of snow yesterday. Usually I am such a bah humbug and never stay out long. This year was different as a single mum I had to multi task pull sledges, throw snowballs, take photos and dry clothes. We got under some tree's that we called Narnia trees and shook them this I would not advice unless there is only a little snow on them. We laughed and laughed.
In all this I became very sad 17 years of my marriage coming to an end. Several friends have said write down the things you are grateful for. So as I reflect on yesterday I am so thankful for all the snow, for laughing for sledding with my girls and for a gracious God that cares daily for my family.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Merry Chritsmas.

I was blessed to take my girls to a Christmas Eve service the message was true how gracious is God and how he died for us. It is not in what we can receive back but in giving with a Christ like attitude. I pick up my girls today and as we face days of uncertainty ahead I do know and believe that God holds our hands. As I looked up at the ceiling of the church and wished my brother and many wonderful friends who have moved on a Merry Christmas I was reminded how great God truly is.
So in all the gifts that are opened today take a moment to just be thankful. Even through all this year from my brothers death, to been handed divorce papers I know that I have been so blessed in many ways.
That is my Christmas wish for you, that you see the good and hold on to that.
Merry Christmas.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Life.

Often in life there is no title. As my week began I was filled with hope, then sadness and an ending of seventeen years of my life became clear. In it all I saw God close a door and many friends rally around with arms of kind words. As Christmas comes and a Christmas without my brother's voice been heard. I am reminded that in it all of this there is an amazing God who sees it all. As my heart feels numb and I wonder what the next year holds. It is focusing on how much we all have. I went to a school the other day children with real needs were there. I thought in all my mess who was I to complain who was I to be shedding tears, these parents carry this every day. Yet their heart full of love they carry on each day. I am reminded of how Mary looked at this wonderful child and yet God knew that this child would carry every aching heart.
My Christmas wish is that we could all see how much some truly go through take a moment to reflect and give a kind word a hug to someone who truly needs that love this Christmas
Merry Christmas eve, eve.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Please think of others this Christmas.

As the holidays approach many a single parent will face the agony of not been with their child over the Christmas holiday someone will say goodbye this week and not see them until Jan 2011 others will see them on Christmas Day. Children's hearts torn in two and families that once sat opening presents together sit in separate homes trying to recapture something that God had intended to stay together. Others are widows and children who are orphans and have no parents any more. Some are simply people who have through hard times found themselves alone not knowing where to go.

Please remember us all you may be in a position to help some of these people and I ask you to do that during this time. It truly can be the hardest time of the year for these families. I know because I am one of them.

Together we can make a difference.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Think before you speak.

Think before speak. It is an old saying. So many of us never take the time to do that. In a year when so much has happened in my life. Few people have come along and said words of hope. They seam to be stuck in knowing what to say or when to say it or simply have no tact. It is true walk a mile in someone eles's shoes and you might see the world in a different way. It is also true that often friends can be closer than family they see your pain throughout the years and they see you more for who you are than who you were.

So as we enter another week. I ask you to think about those going through financial trouble and those who are alone this Christmas and think about spreading some Christmas cheer.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Treasures from the heart.

I have some amazing friends who hug and love me throughout my life. I have been blessed with calling these more than friends they indeed are my family in Christ.
They are treasures from the heart.
Yesterday someone sent me a blessing it touched my heart and made me smile.
The girls and I went to this secondhand store that we love going to we found a china Christmas set with four plates and four smaller plates and three bowls and then four Christmas glasses and then a broach with a mumma dove and two little ones. They were treasures for sure and a joy.
My youngest daughter loves going there I feel it is a blessing on this earth for people going through hard times and to be honest it is run by amazing Angels or God's helpers I like to think of them.
So to my amazing friends LeaAnn, Paul, Sue, John and the amazing blessing from a person I will leave un said I so give a hearty thank you. Air hugs to you all.
May you find treasures through this season.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Another day.

I have applied for job after job. How discouraging it all is to not get replies back or spam in your inbox continually. I have tried to sell cakes and clothes and got no where this year. I have tried at times to get my books published yet none to this day have been published I have tried to refinance my home, keep my children in their school yet to no avail as yet.

I wonder if God felt that as His son died on the cross we tried to make you all listen yet here my Son dies an ultimate rejection an ultimate death to people who care little of their hurting words or cared little of a man sinless and dying for them. God saw all ahead on that day and saw their true hearts.

I stood in a woman's kitchen this week Lisa you will do well at anything this woman has not known me very long her words God given to a me who has felt battered by the world.

On her estate as a tall as life nativity of Mary, Joseph and Jesus I so wished I had taken a photo it is amazing.

Yet through all my pain and suffering I will have to say God saw me even when Christ died and took those blood stained robes and dried my never ending tears and said I know your pain.

So I hold tightly to that as I face the weeks the roads ahead and ask as I pray for you you would pray for me.

Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Lessons in being silent

Since my brother died I have learnt that it is often better to just say nothing. People appear through life to say things that just come out of their mouths. Like worms coming out of the ground when it rains. So sarcasam and words that truly hurt come flowing out of the gound of a persons soul through their mouth, like worms so to speak. I have made many mistakes over the last three years in my marriage and even through my separation. However rather than throw back words to hurt I try my best to say nothing. My husband use to always say that my silent words said everything in fact the silent words said that the game was not been played and that is often better to say few words than words that a person would regret. If I look back at the last words I said to my brother yes I wished I had said more to express how much I loved him or made some difference to stop what would be found out in the next 38 hours from happening, but one thing I do know my last words were full of care and love. If we look at Jesus's last words to mankind they were not words to up someone but words of compassion, love and care for a very hurting world and a world to come.
There are so many lessons to be learnt in saying few words.
May you find comfort in the kind words offered in my blog.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

The Ah in Christmas.

As Christmas comes around and songs are sung many children face the torn in two experience of opening presents at one parents house, or not even seeing one parent for the holidays that year. As I sat watching my younger daughter sing with her dad sitting by I could not help but think of the scripture where two women were fighting over a child. As soon as the king ordered for the child to be cut in half the mother declared let her have him. It is the same gutt wrenching feeling I feel for my children this Christmas the feeling of having a part of me torn in two pieces yet saying it is going to be alright. Christmas has been a huge do in this house. Yet this Christmas brings change that will go on for my younger daughter for at least another ten years. My hope for my children is that they hold dearly the good about Christmas. They are amazing children.
Each child weather facing parents going through divorce or like my nephews facing a Christmas without parents faces new challenges. We can but hold onto we are all orphans in this land like a friend told me today all been made into a family through turning to Christ.
We had our First snow today it is so pretty as my dad would stay it wipes the world clean.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Silent tears.

Silent tears. My brothers inquest is over and the silent tears and heart ache turn once again. Like raking leaves and finding new ones or turning the soil and finding new weeds. So our hearts are with the sorrow that life often brings. From losing a house, to divorce or separation, the loss of a job, a friend, moving or a person, our lives turn the soil of life and sigh and ache for that moment in time. Grief captivates our soul unanswered questions remain and like standing next to the sea when the gail is coming in, we stand frozen in time, like the feel or lack of feeling in our hands after we come in from the snow or the damp feeling we feel after coming in from the rain. Like the cold winter nights and the dark clouds of rain so we feel the silent aching of our soul.
Only those who walk a mile and bravely hold us up listening drying the tears and sharing in our pain ever know the silent walk we walk.
Grief is for a season.
As Christmas is upon us. I have a tree near my brothers picture I think I will always have one near him or at least a picture of Scott up so that although as an adult i never got to share a Christmas with the brother that I loved I know I will never forget him.
Air hugs to all you who are grieving and know for sure that God does see our pain.
I encourage you to do something like I have done to remember your loved ones buy an ornament or write a note and place it in a box so that you can share how you feel each year. It is just a suggestion I don't know your pain all I can say is you are not alone.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.