Men that are unspoken hero's.

I rarely take the time to view to much from a man's point of view at divorce care your hear both sides. I will have to say that the women have the worst overall time and experiences. It seams long our the days when men get walked over through a divorce it seams men have become very bitter not making mortgage payments, not paying much money and leaving the women who have never worked for years high and dry credit ruined and looking for homes and answers as well as their own dreams crashed. There are a few men who talk of how lonely they feel at Christmas or holidays or Birthdays they say like women how the loneliness does not hit until everyone is gone. Some tried everything going to church ministers and trying desperately to look to God for answers where there are simply none. I am surprised to hear these men stories comforted in a time where there are few good men that there are some. My dad cared little he was not at the court to fight to see me at fifteen and he stopped paying my mum money as soon as I turned 16. Although I do see my dad in a different way now seeing both the good and the bad. It is certainly true that financially my mum although she owned her own house was at a disadvantage not knowing after 26 years of marriage how to make a living. At divorce care it appears there are a few good men that have tried to seek to find every avenue through their churches to restore their brokenness and their marriages. It is interesting to hear these men they are not bitter they did their best. To them I take my hat off so to speak. Perhaps they are the unspoken hero's who will come to the end of their trial better people. Even some went back years latter and asked forgiveness to those I feel a tremendous respect for.
While I type here alone wondering about my home. I am thankful for the men that God has placed in my life to show me that there are hero's through trials and that there are a few good men.
So to end my blog for the day perhaps take a few moments and you will find that there are hero's even in the trials of life. To you men who are bridging the gap I applaud you.
The biggest hero who took it all will always be Jesus who did nothing wrong but stood always a hero always standing in the gap of our lives.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Snow sadness

Well my younger daughter got snow for her Birthday. My dad use to say when it snowed on New years day that God wiped the world clean. I wish God could take all my troubles and make me white as snow and make me feel clean and new. So many worries and so many unknowns. My children's dad is always great with them in the snow and with them on Birthday's I felt quite sad there was not his hype nor his voice asking for another picture today and he even drove in this bad weather to see them. There was me not knowing what to do.
I wonder where my place is. Snow days were always great fun. I am nothing like that. I wonder where I should begin.
Guess in all my sadness God can do amazing things. The divorce care group I am going to seams to like my opinions I am shocked. Perhaps in my snow sadness I am finding a new winter wonder. I so hope so. Perhaps it is in learning to say God I am doing my best please take my hand and in this winter snow sadness lead me.
If you are walking in the snow of life remember your walk is not alone and I do believe my dad was right yes my dad was right God wipes the world clean I think he should of added and us too. Thanks Dad.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Loneliness

Loneliness comes upon us at the most unexpected moments. I can be on the phone to my sister or my mum and I get off the phone and there I am in tears at how lonely I feel. Yesterday I went to this meeting and I sat in this room crying and then in my car the person I went with drove off and I sat alone crying no one there but me. I was at a wedding recently there was I with my girls and yet in a room with all those happy people I felt so alone. I felt that my life was out of control and I was all by myself.
I went to a friend today who is going through a hard time it is amazing how two people going through hard times can all of a sudden not feel so alone. They made me feel like I was going to be alright. We both have cried many a tears for different reasons. But I do know for sure in my darkest hours of been alone that is when God truly see's the true me and He sees all my tears none are ever forgotten or taken for granted they are all counted and God does have a day when me and many others will walk through our valleys and those days when we felt so alone we will see perhaps we were not so alone. Then we will see all the people that had prayed for us and the many tears shed for us.
Have a blessed day my friend.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Holding on or letting Go.

It is so easy to hold onto anger and bitterness. The first step to healing is admitting that you are hurt and the second is daily giving it to God. Forgiveness is more for you than the other person. If you forgive that other person God can move on the other person. It is not easy by any means. I have heard some wild stories recently of how people who don't deal with anger correctly hurt others. They say they are not bitter but their actions speak volumes.
My question to you today is what are you actions really saying about you? It is better to let go and heal than hold on and never move on but that is my opinion.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Listening ears

I have several friends that just truly listen and have made a tremendous difference in my life. But that has not always been my life. When I was younger I use to talk a lot to my neighbor Rosabelle taught me the Latin names of many flowers. Taught me how to make jams and press flowers, she taught me how to make things out of clay and the memories of her are amazing. Many times in our lives we have no one and the road is very lonely. This past weekend the girls went for a bike ride I walked behind I was all alone. I did not like the feeling yet here I was it was not how I wanted things nor where I ever wanted to be at 42 years old yet here I was. No friend to encourage me just me and the lonely road. The road seams very long in my life at the moment and very lonely. I encourage anyone who is on such a road to join a group that is going through something similar they have the tools to make you feel not so alone and have truly listening ears which we so often don't have. But in these groups you feel at least for that time you are there not so alone and that others have made it to a brighter day. I surely hope that day is soon and that one day I will have those listening ears to help someone.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Pain/Grief/Trial.

We all have sympathy when someone has lost someone and we all say the right words when someone is going through a loss or a trial. But say if that trial goes on for years not weeks, not months but years. As I sat at divorce care last week I quickly understood that sometimes there simply is not word to heal a person. There simply is no answers in ourselves to heal some pains in life. We all gasp when a person says they are filling bankruptcy or that their home is in foreclosure, but maybe life just happened maybe that person feels bad already without our faces and our gasps of oh that is so bad that you could be doing that.
A friend told me that as Christians it is Christians that need to be helping others out. Indeed how many Christians own companies and could offer a Christian a job who has not got one, I mean if we can't help out people in our own churches then how can we reach the lost. How many Christians could buy food or offer to come and paint a room or say I know you are struggling with money do you want me to hold you accountable.
We look at the world and judge but in truth what are we doing. Grief/Trial or pain are very real for the people who are living it. God does not simply walk away I think often he is waiting for Christians to rise up and be Christians he gave some resources to guide others and not for us to judge.
So if you know of a person going through pain/Grief or a trial see what you can do to help.
I saw a woman a few weeks ago who needed encouragement I took one step and encouraged her then God laid it upon my heart to have her over for dinner. It was not that hard to show kindness.
You never know one day it might be you going through that pain/grief or trial and how would you want to be treated?
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Reflecting

Reflecting on life often means facing so tough truths about ourselves. But in reflecting we often find that by admitting to faults we find out who we truly are. Often we have made ourselves out to be this person who has all the answers when in truth we have no answers. We often are looking for answers and in all the wrong places and often the answer is simply seeing the mistakes we made and moving forward. Sometimes simply saying your sorry or telling a person you know you wished you had done things different is a start to healing the other part is actually doing something. Words come cheap unless we reflect, take action and move forward.
Please enjoy a cup of tea with me today.

My ripped weddding dress of my life so to speak.

My wedding dress maybe ripped so to speak in my life. But as I sat in my friends church today I thought about my wedding day. My friend had been my bridesmaid her husband had given me away now here I sat in her church 3,000 plus miles away from England where I come from and where I got married feeling like my wedding dress was now torn. I was reminded that although my dress might be torn in my life so to speak that I am Bride with Christ and that he See's my dress and my life not torn He See's me in His perfect eyes. I may dance alone for now in my life but my dance, when I allow God to help me my dance for now is with him. Whether I wear my wedding dress or my pajama's God dances with me telling me I will make it through and that my torn wedding dress is only for a time.
So remember your dance in your life is only as lonely as you want it to be God does not see the ripped dress He see's where you are going and He see's the soul being healed. Sometimes that is not easy to see or feel but when we stop and think it is simply the truth.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Amazing people come in our lives just at the right time.

As this road continues and the turns are getting ever so weary. I find that God sends people in my life to help me. One I meet in a place I would never of thought of meeting her but as I sat at this place encouraging her I understood it was God that bought us together. Another lady I meet and made her cakes she has encouraged me and blessed me and my girls. But as I smiled and laughed with her I understood God placed her in my life for a reason. Other friends Pat, Lea Ann, Eunice, Rosabelle,Sister Swann and Nancy have all come in my life at very special times. All ended up being the best friends a woman could ask for.
So if God moves it upon your heart to talk to someone then do it. Because that might well be an open door for you to bless them and them to bless you. It is amazing how God uses even horrible situations to send people to help us.
Be open to receive and open to give to someone. You might feel you have nothing but what you have might be what the other person needs a word a prayer a little hope to help them through the day.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Looking back and moving forward

In looking back one can either allow God to show you your mistakes and learn or one can become bitter. In opening up our hearts to allow healing in it gives us all a chance to live life once again and in a new way. The road maybe very hard but at least every step to healing is a step to living life and not dying in the midst of a situation.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

The injured people we often pass by.

My Grandfather was in a Regiment called the Buffs. He served in the war. I never bothered listening much about my mum's dad after all he had died long before I was born. But as I sit here going through a separation. I am reminded after going to a divorce care meeting last night that grief is like going through a war. This video explained how divorce was like having a limb damaged blood gushing out. I have felt that so much over the last two years and more so over the last months as things have unfolded and the love of friends has supported me and my girls. The not knowing what has been paid or when the house will go. It appears to me that grief is much like a war no one knows when it will end no one can tell a soldier how long they will take to heal from their pain no one can stop that pain and no one can stop that war. My brother lost his wife last year to cancer it was so easy to say come on get going until my life crashed down and I felt my life shattered. It is in grieving that some how our hearts find comfort. To move on one has to let go of broken dreams or dreams that no longer are there. I found myself at the meeting feeling that I was not so alone I was not just a broken vessel forgotten by God indeed I was a broken vessel that only God heal.
So my question put before you is how many people do you go by and you simply say oh get over it or you will be alright. There is no words for grief but prayers and sometimes money if that is what is needed sometimes it is simply saying to that person that God counts every tear and See's your pain non of it is ever forgotten.
I am no one special but I do know this that I wished I had listened more to people who just wanted to cry a tear.
so instead of having a cup of tea with me today go out and find someone that you can have a cup of tea with and just listen.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Walk a mile.

In life we all say things we wished we had never said. As this year moves on I am asking that we all think about this it is so easy to say I wished I could walk a mile in another persons shoes. But you can so to speak I don't always have to have the last word nor do I always have to be right nor do I always have to fight back with a nasty comment. What I can decide to do is listen and feel someone's pain or hear what they are saying and say to them I hear what you are saying instead of adding what I think. Everyone has pain they don't want to always know what your opinion is they just want you to hear them. Someone told me recently to be a person of less words I think there is a lot of truth in that.
Understanding how the power to really hear what someone is saying without putting out your opinion can bring a lot of healing. We all have opinions some are good some not. But to take a moment and just listen often you learn so much about someone else.
It is just a thought. Maybe in truth walking a mile is simply that getting away from life and walking in this amazing world God gave us and to see the really simple things that make us so much better people if we took the time to look.
So as you sit with your cup of tea today think of someone you could just listen to. They might become a real good friend to you this year or you to them.
Please have a cup of tea with me today.

Here is to the best year ever 2010

As a child I loved even numbers and as I type here wondering if I will lose my home, where I will live, what job I will have and so many questions. I am encouraged by the fact that I have so many wonderful friends and people praying for me.
As I sat laughing as my children played twister for the first time last night with some awesome friends. I thought how life is like a waltz.
I learnt to waltz when I was at school I took ballroom lessons. I always thought a waltz was so romantic. But as I sat watching the girls I thought how sometimes in life we waltz alone been directed by God and in life those times the music is smooth and somewhat unpredictable. Then there are the times that God allows us to dance on His feet and he leads us through the dance of life. Sometimes we dance with a partner and we feel safe and the music is smooth and there seems in one's heart that the moment will never end.
So as I dance alone the waltz of 2010 wearing my wonderful black lace evening dress that I imagine in my mind that my feet will guide me to where I need to go and that through the stages of this year I will always remember I may dance alone but I am never alone. Alone is just a state of mind and to dance a waltz is dancing in time with our Maker and to let Him lead.

You may have two left feet but it does not matter because in all the dance of life there is no perfect dance just a perfect God who if we allow Him will lead us. Trust me I am eating my words here.
Please have a cup of tea with me today the first of 2010.
Here's to you and your dance of 2010 may it be an amazing awesome year.